05-26-2014, 11:29 AM
Aria walked in a near deadened state after leaving Dane's company. She passed streets, walked in circles for hours before heading back to her apartment. Life had taken a drastic turn from where it had been heading. It was not the same direction she had been going, wandering the streets didn't help, but at this juncture Aria didn't think anything would.
On her third pass of the retro style news shop Aria saw the headlines, she'd seen them before. "Missing boy found, Mockingbird's calling card found." Aria grabbed the latest copy and paid for it with credits from her wallet. Cash was not something she typically carried, mostly because she didn't have much spending money to begin with. Other articles on the mockingbird had floated around. He was responsible for a good many deaths, and the circumstances were nearly inexpiable. A small blip of fear passed over Aria's body, the fear was unwarranted, she could take care of herself against most foes. She thought of Dane, and hoped he was alright. But then again he wielded the power of the gods, he could do much more damage the she could alone. Regret floated across the surface and there was nothing left but loneliness.
Hours later Aria found herself in front of the Desolate Scroll, unsure how she actually got there. The sun was nearly up, her body ached in places she didn't know could ache. She climbed the stairs slowly and picked up the mat and found the hidden key wedge in between two of the lose boards. She'd have to get another one made to replace this on.
The door came open with a mild squeal. She'd have to get that fixed soon. It was getting annoying.
Aria started a hot shower. But the water was cold and never heated properly, someone must have used it all up in the wee hours of the morning, in their normal routine. The cold water made Aria shiver but she washed everything twice to make sure the blood was truly good and gone.
Aria barely made it to her own bed before she collapsed from pure exhaustion, her walk and the nights activities had drained her.
****
Aria woke with a headache, and the world was still at bay despite not holding the bubble around her. Her own emotions still fled whenever they were there. But at the very least the haze was gone, the couple upstairs were gone, or dead. Nothing emoted from upstairs. The shop keep downstairs was lively and energetic. Something Aria wished she was. It was midday by the time she'd opened her eyes. Aria sat down at the little table and started fiddling with the reporters wallet. Technology was not her thing, but she managed to hook her wallet up to it and get all the contents of the reporters wallet from it.
Aria tried to get in the right way, but there was nothing she could do to get past the password lock, she was hardly a hacker.
Aria looked at the messages on her wallet, the one from Father Stone was nearly half a day old. He was going to be angry. But Aria couldn't deal with him now. She could barely deal with herself. The monster inside, the person she was, the fear of the reporter echoed in her head. The pain and suffering of Takeo's man, everything brought Aria to her knees. The world piled in on her.
****
Aria stared at the time stamp on the message from Father Stone. He was going to be highly upset she hadn't shown up immediately. But even if she'd shown up exactly as the message reached her wallet, she was sure the anger would have been the same. He was always angry, and almost always angry because of her. That was at least a little comfort, she caused the man anger. Anger was quick to lead into other things.
Aria didn't care, the events of last night had taken everything from her. Aria knew she felt guilty about everything but being with Dane, but it drifted away from her like it was a cloud on the soft breeze. It wasn't supposed to end like that.
What was left of her humanity floated on the outside of herself, like it was stuck on the other side of a panel of glass. She could see it, but she couldn't feel it. Aria had stopped trying hours ago and dealt with the collapse of the world in on her. Feeling what everyone else felt was sadly unaffected by whatever her murderous acts had brought upon her soul. God was punishing her. But in reality, God had nothing to do with it, she punished herself.
Every waking thought and breathe since leaving Dane's company had been plagued with loss and grief and desperation. She wanted to be at his side. Not because she cared, but because without him, there was nothing but emptiness. Her own self was lost with out his touch. She had given herself too fully to him. And Aria had no way of knowing if she'd ever be herself again. Aria hadn't understood it at first, but the more time away from Dane, she could clear her head, the notions, the ability to comprehend her inadvertent actions. His touch still lingered on her body, but it had been that all consuming passion that made this mess inside her head. She had surrendered everything to him - she gave him her humanity.
She wanted to cry, she wanted to hate herself, but she just didn't care. What was done was done. The line between right and wrong had been crossed and she didn't care. She remembered the sweet fear that came from the reporter. She felt every ounce of pain as the knife carved though her body like the cadavers Father Dimitri had taught her on. Aria savored every ounce of the suffering the poor women had went through at her own hands. Aria had loved every second of it. Now even in the mist of memory it was strong. Aria wanted to weep but the tears would never come.
The world went on and Aria still sat on the floor of her apartment leaning against the bed, staring at the infernal time stamp of the message Father Stone had sent her. A gun balanced precariously on her knees with one hand. She'd thought of pulling the trigger a few times, but she never got there. The gun never left her knees, she hadn't even removed the safety. It sat, cold hard steel in her hand, waiting for nothing in particular.
Self pity and disgust kept Aria firmly planted on the floor contemplating her own death. She wished Dane had followed through, had not thrown the knife away. It would have been so much easier to die than to live with what she'd done. But no matter how hard Aria thought about it, pulling the trigger was not something she could do. She could drown on the bottom of her bath tub, but she'd never stay long enough to pass out. Aria had long since stopped cutting fine lines into her arms and legs. That had been before she had learned to stay in the safety of the bubble that the technique Father Dimitri had taught her for combat situations. Death was her ally, but she could not be her own hand of Death.
It took every ounce of mental fortitude for Aria to push herself up from the floor and make herself move. What was done was done. Self pity would do nothing, and it sure wouldn't let her be with Dane. She didn't care, she let every doubt and every emotion she had go. It was deafening the silence of her own mind. Each thought was clear, everything was so clear with her emotions sitting on the side lines.
It was time to deal with Father Stone, and whatever else the Atharim could throw at her. Life went on, so would Aria.
Aria took a shower for the second time that day. The blood on her hands made her feel unclean, but there was no amount of scrubbing that would wash away those stains. The water rained down on her and left red rivulets along her skin with its scalding heat. Nothing could cleanse her soul of what she'd done.
Buck up! Get at 'em! whatever saying you wanted wasn't going to make much of a difference in a person who didn't want to be motivated, but there was nothing else, emptiness wouldn't do, Aria had to feel something, do something, so she got dressed, one foot then the other, and so on until she was ready to walk out the door with her mavel of a sword strapped to her hip and a gun holstered at the small of her back. The long trench coat hiding it all, keeping her warm at the same time.
Aria tucked her gloves into her coat's pocket, there was little danger to her physical self when there was nothing inside her. The world pushed in, she could make out each individual pulse of emotions, but it no longer overwhelmed her. She knew her neighbors upstairs were fighting again. Her landlord, the shop keep downstairs was happy with whatever he was doing, that kind of proud moment when you know you did right or helped someone, when you made a difference. Aria pushed it all away and drown in the nothingness that was hers. None of it mattered. She only wanted one thing, and right now, she had other things to do. Life didn't get any better than this, the thought dripped with sarcasm.
****
It was a short walk to headquarters. The alley way entrance was guarded per usual, and there were only a few stares as she walked passed them and down into what the Atharim called home. They knew she was in trouble, pity flowed from them like a sickening sweet sugar treat they served at the fair. Aria wanted nothing to do with their pity, it only stirred what little anger she could muster. She'd done nothing wrong that they knew of. Father Stone's fury was because of something entirely different.
The door to Father Stone's office was closed, Aria knocked. The emotions the other side of the door were calm and content until Aria opened the door. His anger pulsed and raged through his body. His face turned red as he blustered with fury. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Aria stared at him, there was nothing, his rage bounced off of her, if anything had been gained from last night she was happy with the new found power, the control she had made Aria smile.
Father Stone stalked away from his desk and slapped Aria across the face. Wipe that smile off your face, child!
Nothing, Aria stared back at him from her bent form, from the momentum of his strike had caused, through mussed hair, the pain radiated from her cheek, she could taste the blood in her mouth. The pain was wondrous. She continued to smile as she righted herself. "I was handling a problem."
She pulled out her wallet and showed Father Stone the recording she'd retrieved. He stared at her and the video. A vein in his head pulsed with his every heartbeat, his rage boiled even stronger. Aria did nothing but stare in return.
He didn't calm down, but his voice was more even "How could you let this happen?"
Aria smiled, Father Stone had assumed she'd made the kill. She could almost feel the fear through the rage. "It wasn't my kill. I found it. Something else killed it. I WAS cleaning it up."
"A likely story from you. Some clean up you called us yet again to clean up your mess.
"You can see I was interrupted. Next time I'll clean up and not worry about exposure. How's that sound?"
Father Stone's rage boiled over the top and he struck Aria again. Aria caught his hand as it left her cheek. She was small, but she knew what she was doing, she wrenched his arm behind him. She deliberately pushed fear and intimation through her hand into his body. Father Stone's eyes widened and he cowered before her. Aria spoke in a cold and quiet voice, the emptiness of her body and soul carried through, she didn't care. "Do not EVER touch me again."
Aria felt someone coming and let go of Father Stone. He cringed at her feet and Aria smiled. She wanted to kick him while he was down, but she stood her ground. Being petty would gain her nothing more, she already had the upper hand.
*edited: removed the bit about Katya in the paper, it would not be there as Dreams of Fire happens after Untethered*
Edited by Aria, Jun 8 2014, 03:15 PM.
On her third pass of the retro style news shop Aria saw the headlines, she'd seen them before. "Missing boy found, Mockingbird's calling card found." Aria grabbed the latest copy and paid for it with credits from her wallet. Cash was not something she typically carried, mostly because she didn't have much spending money to begin with. Other articles on the mockingbird had floated around. He was responsible for a good many deaths, and the circumstances were nearly inexpiable. A small blip of fear passed over Aria's body, the fear was unwarranted, she could take care of herself against most foes. She thought of Dane, and hoped he was alright. But then again he wielded the power of the gods, he could do much more damage the she could alone. Regret floated across the surface and there was nothing left but loneliness.
Hours later Aria found herself in front of the Desolate Scroll, unsure how she actually got there. The sun was nearly up, her body ached in places she didn't know could ache. She climbed the stairs slowly and picked up the mat and found the hidden key wedge in between two of the lose boards. She'd have to get another one made to replace this on.
The door came open with a mild squeal. She'd have to get that fixed soon. It was getting annoying.
Aria started a hot shower. But the water was cold and never heated properly, someone must have used it all up in the wee hours of the morning, in their normal routine. The cold water made Aria shiver but she washed everything twice to make sure the blood was truly good and gone.
Aria barely made it to her own bed before she collapsed from pure exhaustion, her walk and the nights activities had drained her.
****
Aria woke with a headache, and the world was still at bay despite not holding the bubble around her. Her own emotions still fled whenever they were there. But at the very least the haze was gone, the couple upstairs were gone, or dead. Nothing emoted from upstairs. The shop keep downstairs was lively and energetic. Something Aria wished she was. It was midday by the time she'd opened her eyes. Aria sat down at the little table and started fiddling with the reporters wallet. Technology was not her thing, but she managed to hook her wallet up to it and get all the contents of the reporters wallet from it.
Aria tried to get in the right way, but there was nothing she could do to get past the password lock, she was hardly a hacker.
Aria looked at the messages on her wallet, the one from Father Stone was nearly half a day old. He was going to be angry. But Aria couldn't deal with him now. She could barely deal with herself. The monster inside, the person she was, the fear of the reporter echoed in her head. The pain and suffering of Takeo's man, everything brought Aria to her knees. The world piled in on her.
****
Aria stared at the time stamp on the message from Father Stone. He was going to be highly upset she hadn't shown up immediately. But even if she'd shown up exactly as the message reached her wallet, she was sure the anger would have been the same. He was always angry, and almost always angry because of her. That was at least a little comfort, she caused the man anger. Anger was quick to lead into other things.
Aria didn't care, the events of last night had taken everything from her. Aria knew she felt guilty about everything but being with Dane, but it drifted away from her like it was a cloud on the soft breeze. It wasn't supposed to end like that.
What was left of her humanity floated on the outside of herself, like it was stuck on the other side of a panel of glass. She could see it, but she couldn't feel it. Aria had stopped trying hours ago and dealt with the collapse of the world in on her. Feeling what everyone else felt was sadly unaffected by whatever her murderous acts had brought upon her soul. God was punishing her. But in reality, God had nothing to do with it, she punished herself.
Every waking thought and breathe since leaving Dane's company had been plagued with loss and grief and desperation. She wanted to be at his side. Not because she cared, but because without him, there was nothing but emptiness. Her own self was lost with out his touch. She had given herself too fully to him. And Aria had no way of knowing if she'd ever be herself again. Aria hadn't understood it at first, but the more time away from Dane, she could clear her head, the notions, the ability to comprehend her inadvertent actions. His touch still lingered on her body, but it had been that all consuming passion that made this mess inside her head. She had surrendered everything to him - she gave him her humanity.
She wanted to cry, she wanted to hate herself, but she just didn't care. What was done was done. The line between right and wrong had been crossed and she didn't care. She remembered the sweet fear that came from the reporter. She felt every ounce of pain as the knife carved though her body like the cadavers Father Dimitri had taught her on. Aria savored every ounce of the suffering the poor women had went through at her own hands. Aria had loved every second of it. Now even in the mist of memory it was strong. Aria wanted to weep but the tears would never come.
The world went on and Aria still sat on the floor of her apartment leaning against the bed, staring at the infernal time stamp of the message Father Stone had sent her. A gun balanced precariously on her knees with one hand. She'd thought of pulling the trigger a few times, but she never got there. The gun never left her knees, she hadn't even removed the safety. It sat, cold hard steel in her hand, waiting for nothing in particular.
Self pity and disgust kept Aria firmly planted on the floor contemplating her own death. She wished Dane had followed through, had not thrown the knife away. It would have been so much easier to die than to live with what she'd done. But no matter how hard Aria thought about it, pulling the trigger was not something she could do. She could drown on the bottom of her bath tub, but she'd never stay long enough to pass out. Aria had long since stopped cutting fine lines into her arms and legs. That had been before she had learned to stay in the safety of the bubble that the technique Father Dimitri had taught her for combat situations. Death was her ally, but she could not be her own hand of Death.
It took every ounce of mental fortitude for Aria to push herself up from the floor and make herself move. What was done was done. Self pity would do nothing, and it sure wouldn't let her be with Dane. She didn't care, she let every doubt and every emotion she had go. It was deafening the silence of her own mind. Each thought was clear, everything was so clear with her emotions sitting on the side lines.
It was time to deal with Father Stone, and whatever else the Atharim could throw at her. Life went on, so would Aria.
Aria took a shower for the second time that day. The blood on her hands made her feel unclean, but there was no amount of scrubbing that would wash away those stains. The water rained down on her and left red rivulets along her skin with its scalding heat. Nothing could cleanse her soul of what she'd done.
Buck up! Get at 'em! whatever saying you wanted wasn't going to make much of a difference in a person who didn't want to be motivated, but there was nothing else, emptiness wouldn't do, Aria had to feel something, do something, so she got dressed, one foot then the other, and so on until she was ready to walk out the door with her mavel of a sword strapped to her hip and a gun holstered at the small of her back. The long trench coat hiding it all, keeping her warm at the same time.
Aria tucked her gloves into her coat's pocket, there was little danger to her physical self when there was nothing inside her. The world pushed in, she could make out each individual pulse of emotions, but it no longer overwhelmed her. She knew her neighbors upstairs were fighting again. Her landlord, the shop keep downstairs was happy with whatever he was doing, that kind of proud moment when you know you did right or helped someone, when you made a difference. Aria pushed it all away and drown in the nothingness that was hers. None of it mattered. She only wanted one thing, and right now, she had other things to do. Life didn't get any better than this, the thought dripped with sarcasm.
****
It was a short walk to headquarters. The alley way entrance was guarded per usual, and there were only a few stares as she walked passed them and down into what the Atharim called home. They knew she was in trouble, pity flowed from them like a sickening sweet sugar treat they served at the fair. Aria wanted nothing to do with their pity, it only stirred what little anger she could muster. She'd done nothing wrong that they knew of. Father Stone's fury was because of something entirely different.
The door to Father Stone's office was closed, Aria knocked. The emotions the other side of the door were calm and content until Aria opened the door. His anger pulsed and raged through his body. His face turned red as he blustered with fury. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
Aria stared at him, there was nothing, his rage bounced off of her, if anything had been gained from last night she was happy with the new found power, the control she had made Aria smile.
Father Stone stalked away from his desk and slapped Aria across the face. Wipe that smile off your face, child!
Nothing, Aria stared back at him from her bent form, from the momentum of his strike had caused, through mussed hair, the pain radiated from her cheek, she could taste the blood in her mouth. The pain was wondrous. She continued to smile as she righted herself. "I was handling a problem."
She pulled out her wallet and showed Father Stone the recording she'd retrieved. He stared at her and the video. A vein in his head pulsed with his every heartbeat, his rage boiled even stronger. Aria did nothing but stare in return.
He didn't calm down, but his voice was more even "How could you let this happen?"
Aria smiled, Father Stone had assumed she'd made the kill. She could almost feel the fear through the rage. "It wasn't my kill. I found it. Something else killed it. I WAS cleaning it up."
"A likely story from you. Some clean up you called us yet again to clean up your mess.
"You can see I was interrupted. Next time I'll clean up and not worry about exposure. How's that sound?"
Father Stone's rage boiled over the top and he struck Aria again. Aria caught his hand as it left her cheek. She was small, but she knew what she was doing, she wrenched his arm behind him. She deliberately pushed fear and intimation through her hand into his body. Father Stone's eyes widened and he cowered before her. Aria spoke in a cold and quiet voice, the emptiness of her body and soul carried through, she didn't care. "Do not EVER touch me again."
Aria felt someone coming and let go of Father Stone. He cringed at her feet and Aria smiled. She wanted to kick him while he was down, but she stood her ground. Being petty would gain her nothing more, she already had the upper hand.
*edited: removed the bit about Katya in the paper, it would not be there as Dreams of Fire happens after Untethered*
Edited by Aria, Jun 8 2014, 03:15 PM.