Worries [Artskaf]

[Cadence]

The adrenaline of amazing recording sessions and her impromptu time with Ezvin was dying down. Cadence had spent some time at Kallisti when she was able to learn and share more about magic.  She resisted the urge to find the light within her, but ever since The Nest, she had felt stronger. Not by a lot, but it was noticeable. The people at Kallisti were great. They always seemed willing to share and were welcoming. Learning how to connect her power with someone else was pretty amazing too. 

But the energy was coming down.  Cadence knew what this meant. She would crash.  Sometimes it was depression, other times it was anger or just the feeling of not wanting to do anything. What had surprised her though was that she hadn’t wanted to stay in as she usually did.  She didn’t want to hide in her house. She wanted to be out. So she googled places to go and found this cafe with paintings on the wall. Cadence read the name of the artist: Thalia Milton. Cadence wasn’t a visual artist, but she had a great appreciation for it.  Some for for sale - maybe she’d take one home. She ordered her beverage, a cortado, and noticed how the barista gave her a second glance. Cadence just smiled and sat down underneath one of the paintings and began to think. There was a lot on her mind and a lot she was worried about. 

For one there was Nox. She hadn’t gotten a chance to meet him because she had felt a strong need to help the girl Marta, but she already admired him.  What he was doing for those kids was nothing short of amazing. She had finally met with Emily Shale about her orphan project, and Nox was involved there too. Cadence had made a sizable donation, but kept it anonymous. She grew up frugally, but music had made her wealthy. She had way too much so she gave a lot to charity.  She believed in that mission though, but the way he had changed had been on her mind. She hoped he was okay. It seemed like he had a lot of people who cared for him.  

On the other hand there were her parents. Things were very unstable in the United States and she was worried about them. They’d be arriving for Christmas soon. Maybe she could convince them to stay. Cadence just didn’t like them being there with everything going on.

Then there were the normal stressors which at this point was her album. Recording for the new project had been going extremely well though. The momentum had built with Ezvin’s guidance and had just stayed. She had the vision and they were seeing it happen. It had been an amazing experience. 

Her thoughts went to Ezvin and in a way she was surprised he wasn’t among her worries.  She liked him more than she had really liked anyone before. But he had told her early on that he wasn’t good at the long game. Maybe that’s why she was content with where they were currently. She still couldn’t believe she had invited him over. Perhaps she was growing a bit. 

Cadence sipped at her drink and looked around, gauging the other art. It really was a lovely place. Cadence pulled out her wallet and began to look through her contacts. Maybe she could ask someone to come and talk or something.  She didn’t really want to be alone right now, but also didn’t want to bother. Casey would come in a heartbeat. Cadence put her wallet back down and wrapped her hands around the warm cup holding her beverage.  She closed her eyes end breathed in the steam, trying to relax.

[Cadence]

Cadence felt antsy for a bit before she picked up her wallet again. She really didn’t want to be alone and that in itself felt weird. She usually craved solitude when the crash was about to hit, but she followed her instincts and sent Casey a message.

Hey Casey. I know it’s short notice, but could use some company. Can you come chat for a bit?

Casey responded quickly and in the affirmative. Cadence told her where she was, feeling a bit like a weight had lifted. Cadence went to the counter and ordered two danishes and a black coffee for Casey, telling the barista to wait until her friend arrived to make it. Cadence knew what Casey liked.

Casey arrived rather quickly, which told Cadence she had likely worried her. Casey stepped in and gave Cadence a smile before heading to the counter. The barista looked to Cadence who nodded and she poured Casey her coffee. As she sat across from Cadence, the singer pushed a plate with a danish towards her bassist.

”Morning, Cade. You know just what I like,” Casey smiled as she took a sip of the coffee and looked around. ”Neat place!”

Cadence smiled, but it was slightly forced. ”Yeah. Really glad I found it.”

Casey’s face turned serious but lost none of its compassion. ”You’re going to crash soon, aren’t you?” Cadence nodded. ”You usually like to be alone when that happens. What’s different? How can I help?”

Cadence shrugged. ”I don’t know. I just didn’t want to be alone.”

Casey nodded and took a bit of her danish, she looked up slightly in thought. ”You’re changing, Cade, and I don’t thing it’s a bad thing. Just tell me what’s on your mind right now.”

Cadence nodded. She had been changing. She had felt it. Casey knew her well - better than any except her parents. ”Its like I’m beginning to see things differently. I feel happier than I’ve felt in a long time. I feel…free.” Casey smiled at that. ”And the past couple of weeks have been some of the best recording sessions we’ve had. I guess…I was hoping the crash wouldn’t come you know. Just something that said this fight was over.”

Casey put her coffee down and sighed. ”I remember when we met. Freshman orientation at Millikin. I walked into our room to find a quiet young woman who barely said a word to me, and only then it was generally of if I prompted it. I remember the first time I walked by a practice room and heard you sing. I remember feeling like I needed to practice right then myself. But you know what memory I really remember for that year? Cadence shook her head as Casey leaned forward. ”I came back to the room to find you in tears. At the point I knew you better and I wondered what could have hurt this kind woman with the beautiful soul. I asked what was wrong, and you told me you trusted me enough to tell me something. You told me about your painful past that night.”

Casey took another drink of her coffee, gathering her thoughts. ”Cade, I think you’ve been on the road of healing for a long time, and now you’re going through a big shift. And that’s good! But you still have a lot of trauma. You’re going to have days like this hon, and that’s okay too. You know no matter what, I’ll drop what I’m doing to chat if you need it.”

Cadence gave her a smile. ”Yeah…”

Casey gave Cadence an encouraging grin. ”Might be good for you to say some of the things that are going on in your head. Acknowledging the positive changes. Will you share with me?”

[Cadence]

Cadence listened to every word. Besides her parents, she knew Cadence better than anyone. She was also very protective. Cadence thought about the night that Casey brought up. It was the night that their relationship had shifted from roommates to friends. There was more to it than Casey said. She had been with her boyfriend that night and had changed her plans to make sure Cadence was okay. Her boyfriend had thankfully been understanding.

Casey offered to listen and there was wisdom in stating what was going on. Cadence tried to find the words. ”Its just…I don’t know. I see things differently now. I find myself wanting to go out more and talk to people. The idea of hiding is becoming stale. I want…” cadence paused, looking up at Casey. Casey’s attention was completely on Cadence. ”it’s like…” Cadence began to get visibly flustered as she tried to find a way to explain it.

Casey touched her hand, and Cadence calmed. ”Calm…you can do this.”

Cadence took a deep breath. ”Its like…surviving isn’t enough anymore. I want…to live. Really live.” Casey smiled and Cadence, feeling emboldened by that continued. ”Everything seems brighter. People seem less scary. And people are…beautiful. Casey, suddenly I’m seeing people and finding them attractive. I know that sounds dumb, but when the girls in school would talk about this, I never understood and now it’s happening to me. I just sometimes see someone and…and it takes my breath away.”

Casey grinned. ”People like Ezvin?”

Cadence felt her cheeks began to warm. ”That obvious, huh?” she looked down, embarrassed. ”Please don’t make fun.”

Cadence felt Casey’s hand under her chin, making her meet her gaze. ”Im not making fun, Cade.” she smiled. ”it’s really sweet to see you going though this. This is something you haven’t been able to experience before because you had so much on your mind. You’re not just surviving anymore, so things are going to start catching up with you. Things most of us did a long time ago. Just be grateful you don’t have to deal with this and the teenage hormones at the same time.” they both laughed. ”And if you’re ever confused about what you’re feeling or have questions. Ask. I’m sure Cara will help too.” Casey grinned. [color=#b0105]”So…you like him then? I’ve seen the way you look at him.”[/color]

Cadence nodded and turned beet red. ”I…invited him over.”

Casey’s mouth dropped. ”You…invited…And your intention wasn’t just coffee or something. Your intention was to do the horizontal tango?” Cadence nodded. Casey chuckled lightly, and then her face changed, becoming more concerned. ”How did he respond to that? What did he say.”

Ever since the night Cadence had opened up to Casey, Caseyhad always been her protector, so Cadence understood her concern. She noted that this in itself was new too. A couple of wells ago, she wouldn’t have understood what got Casey slightly riled. But now she knew. She was worried Ezvin was going to take advantage of Cadence.

”He said he was tempted, but didn’t want to rush a good thing.” Casey’s facial expression eased. ”He wasn’t trying to take advantage of me, Casey.”

Casey nodded. ””Its hard to not be worried about you, Cade. This is all new to you. I’m not going to tell you who to date or not. I’m not going to tell you who to sleep with either. That’s up to you. I just want you to be careful. You’re a catch, Cadence. Kind, beautiful, and successful, but you’re also a little naive. It’s not your fault, but there are people who would take advantage of that. I don’t think Ezvin would, but please be careful.”

”I will, I promise. Thanks Casey.”