9/6/2032

Dear Diary,

A guy came to school today to talk about playing in band or orchestra.  It looks lots of fun.  I really liked the big violin they had. The guy said it’s a bass.  I asked mama about playing and she said that would be fine! I’m so happy!

-Casey

4/18/2035

Dear Diary,

I had a strange dream last night. It wasn’t so much what happened in the dream because nothing really happened. It was just that it felt so real. Light seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once. People would appear and then disappear within moments. Still - it felt so real. I asked Mom about it. She told me dreams like that come from the devil, and if I was having those dreams I was in sin and should pray about it. I just said “yes mom,” and went to my room. Fifth commandment says honor your father and mother. I didn’t want to tell her that I knew I had done nothing wrong. 

-Casey

10/23/2038

Dear Diary,

I walked home from school today. My parents don’t mind. It was a beautiful day and they always told me that it’s good to admire God’s creations. While walking home I heard a noise coming from an alley. I felt pulled to go check. A teenage boy was hitting another. I felt compelled to act, so I ran up, telling the bully to leave him alone. The bully approached me and pushed me asking what I was going to do to stop it. I was scared but didn’t back down. He tried to push me again, but I pushed back. I didn’t push him that hard, but he went airborne and landed several feet away. He then got up and ran away. I helped the victim by going to the pharmacy and getting him bandaged up.  I can’t stop thinking about it though. I didn’t hit him that hard. 

Diary, I’m scared I might be a witch.

I don’t want to think about it anymore.  I’m going to go practice.  

-Casey

11/3/2038

Dear Diary,

I’m sick today. Not fever, throwing up sick. Just a bad headache.  And I mean BAD!!!! It feels like something is trying to carve itself out of my skull. I told mom and said I thought I should stay home today. She told me it’s just a headache and gave me some ibuprofen to help. It didn’t really help, but I went to school.  The lights really bothered me and my homeroom teacher asked if I was okay.  I said I was, but don’t think she believed me. It was in orchestra that it got really bad.  The lights and sound just made it so much worse that I started to cry. My teacher sent me to the nurse and sent me home. Head still hurts. It’s hard to write without the light on.  I’m going to go try to take a nap. 

-Casey

1/16/2039

Dear Diary,

The choir teacher talked to me today. He’s starting a vocal jazz ensemble and he was wondering if I’d be interested in playing bass guitar in their combo. I got a bass guitar a couple of years ago and have been practicing. This will be a good thing for me to do! I’m excited!

-Casey

4/10/2040

Dear Diary,

I got asked to go to Prom today.  Not once, but twice. Alex, a boy from church asked me to go. He’s nice enough, friendly, kind of cute. He was very polite. Then Karrie asked me to go to.  She’s a girl from orchestra.  Also kind, very pretty. It caught me off guard, but even more so when she kissed me. Two people asked me.  Of course I’m going with Alex. I can’t go with Karrie. Mom and Dad wouldn’t approve. But, if I’m being honest, I want to go with Karrie. I can’t stop thinking about that kiss. I can’t stop because I liked it.  I’m not supposed to like it though.  I’m not supposed to feel that way about girls. Am I? 

I’m so confused. 

-Casey

5/6/2040

Dear Diary,

It turns out I’m bisexual. There aren't many I can come out to without mom and dad finding out, so I’m coming out to you! How lucky! Karrie has been making an effort to talk to me more. She wanted to go on dates and stuff. I never really said no or anything, and I guess that is what prompted her to keep trying. I also never told her I didn’t like girls. I think deep down, I knew it was a lie. I talked with her more about it today, telling her of my confused feelings and she helped me work things out. I also told her I couldn’t date her  I felt really bad about that, but after I explained my situation, she understood. At least we’re still friends. 

The whole situation has me thinking about a lot of things. I grew up in the Evangelical Christian tradition. I was always told this was wrong, but I never made a choice about this. It’s not only that, but other things. Anytime something bad happens “it’s because of my sin” or “I’m not right with God.” I don’t get it. I’m not perfect, but I’m not a bad person. Why am I always being punished for things I didn’t do? And if God doesn’t make mistakes, then why am I…

It hurts to think like this. It hurts to think that everything that everyone taught me might be wrong. I can’t stop crying about it. Mom asked me what’s wrong. I told her I just had a rough day at school. I lied to my mom - and it wasn’t just hiding things that I wasn’t sure about.  I flat out lied to her. I tell myself that I did it to protect myself. I’m scared, Diary. I’m scared and I’m confused.

-Casey

5/20/2050

Dear Diary,

Happy News! I’ll be attending Millikin University next fall studying instrumental music education. My thoughts on my religious views have been changing. I just feel like I don’t fit in so much there anymore. Moving out of Tennessee will give me the space I need to figure this out. I haven’t told Mom and Dad yet.  Once more, I’m keeping things from them.  I’ll tell them later. Right now, I just can’t.

-Casey

8/6/2040

Dear Diary,

I’m in college now, so maybe writing in a diary is a little young for me, but it’s a great way for me to get my feelings out. So you still have to deal with me! First day on campus! I met my roommate. She’s a nice girl studying vocal and piano performance. It seems like we will have a lot in common.  She doesn’t talk much, but she isn’t standoffish. Her eyes have a look though - like she’s seen a lot. She’s probably been through some things.  Oh! Her name is Cadence.

-Casey

8/30/2040

Dear Diary,

I’ve been dating a boy for a bit. It’s been nice! I did finally call my parents. They’re unhappy with my decision to “backslide” as they like to call it, and said they will pray for me. The words seem hollow. I just…wish they got it. I still love them, but I feel like there is a disconnect. I want to connect, but I want to be true to me. They don’t know about my sexuality yet or about the time when I think I used magic…

Speaking of which, it happened again. This time someone was harassing a homeless guy near campus.  I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t.  He was about to punch the homeless man, but his fist hit an invisible wall. I think I was right.  I think I’m a witch, and it scares me. I didn’t mean to do anything.

-Casey

9/4/2040

Dear Diary,

I heard Cadence sing for the first time today. OMG!!!! She has a phenomenal voice! Like professional good! All I can remember thinking is that I needed to practice more. That voice - it just made me want to be a better musician.

9/10/2040

Dear Diary,

The massive headache came back. This time with nausea and a fever. I stayed in my room today. Cadence is out visiting family, so I don’t have to worry about getting her sick at least. The last time I had a headache this bad was in high school. Seems odd to come back so late, so I reread some of my entries from around then. Last time this happened was about two weeks after the incident with the bully.  This one is a week and a half after the incident with the homeless man.  It seems like me using magic and the headaches are linked.  This can’t be good. I’m not sure what this means, but I think it means I have to control the magic. At the very least, I can stop getting sick if I can learn that. I have no idea where to start.

-Casey

11/5/2040

Dear Diary,

I was about to go on a date when I got back to the room tonight. Cadence was there, crying. I told my boyfriend that I needed to stay here and reschedule our date. His response was rather selfish. He demanded I go with him. It angered me to no end. I told him we’re done right there. Cadence needed me more. I sat next to her and hugged her. She then began to tell me a story…her story. An abusive father that abandoned her. Seven years in the foster system. Her quiet nature makes sense now. Ever since we met, I felt this need to be some sort of shield for her. She has a lot of scars, and I want to be there for her. I love her. Not romantically, but she’s become like a sister in a close amount of time. She needs me, and I think in some ways I need her too. Her messy beginning to life wasn’t like mine.  It was way worse, but I found a sort of kindred spirit with her. I told her I’d always be there to listen or to be a shoulder to cry on. After she calmed down, I told her I’m bi and my struggles growing up. It just seemed right. She listened intently and told me she had two moms and was glad that I trusted her with that. Then it was my turn to cry. It felt good to be accepted.

-Casey

3/6/2041

Dear Diary,

Decatur, IL is a kind of scary community, and I was privy to yet another domestic disturbance. Man beating his girlfriend or wife. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, but remembering what happened last time, I paid attention as I approached. It seems stupid in hindsight, but something moved me to intervene. I don’t understand it. As I told the man to stop, I searched inside myself. I’d been reading about magic - not like magic tricks - but like the things witches “can do” and somehow I had to find the energy in me. And when I told him to stop, I “saw” it. It was like a river moving through me. I reached for it, felt it try to pull me away. I followed instinct, letting it take me. And then I felt it. Sweetness…power… As I approached I saw what looked like threads forming around the woman - a protective shield that covered her from her attacker. It was long enough for the cops to arrive and take care of it. I wonder if I’ll get sick again.

5/16/2044

OMG! It’s been years since I’ve written here! Sorry! Well I didn’t get sick again. I’ve also not touched my magic again. Part of me still feels guilty about it. Some things take awhile to die down. That whole “suffer not a witch to live” thing comes up when I think about it. I’ve tried to recreate what happened, but that river of power is there, but not accessible. Something keeps me from touching it. I don’t know what. 

Catch up time! Past few years have been great.  I’m about to graduate! Cadence and I have remained close.  Roommates for four years! A couple of years ago, she sang at an open mic night and has since become a YouTube sensation. Hell, she even got an offer from an agent!

That brings me today! We’re packing up and I find my diary.  I have to write this in for sure! I get back after having some lunch and Cadence is talking on the phone. I don’t listen in.  I just head to my room to finish packing. A couple of minutes later and she’s in my room telling me that she just got off the phone with Marlise Taylor and she is going to be recording an album! I hug and congratulate her before she tells me she needs my help. She wants ME to play bass and help her find the rest of her band. I’m absolutely floored! I never in a million years would have expected this.

-Casey

11/15/2044 

Dear Diary,

Last page of this one - and this is a perfect entry. We just played our first tour concert at the United Center in Chicago - SOLD OUT!!!! My hands are still shaking from the excitement. We were all so nervous beforehand. Cara kept spinning her sticks. Matt was pacing. Barry couldn’t keep his leg from bouncing up and down. But Cadence. Cadence stood there, proud and confident. The socially awkward woman who seemed so shy was so confident. I knew then everything would be alright. We went on stage and as soon as she sang the first note, the crowd erupted in applause and cheers. Her performance was so genuine - something that has been missing in commercial music for so long. The audience can hear and see her heart. I’m proud of her.  I’m proud of us! 

-Casey

Zef hadn't been truly prepared for having an unwilling channeler. He couldn't do anything to hurt her with the power, it flowed through her -- or rather the dial that was also embedded into her skull.

It was completely unintended but it is what it is. The fucking creatures didn't explain anything and they were learning. She could make him hurt. And she did that often because of his unruly behavior. She had to resort to other punishments like a small cage and no food.  He would learn to obey if she had anything to say about it.

And when he did they finally were able to start training. Eido was less than happy with her, but it was the price of having this pet.

Zef had no idea how to do this, how to use the power, how to force him all she knew right now was she controlled the flow and could cause him pain. They were still learning and it was trial and error.  The boy wasn't completely cowed, but he was behaving for the moment as they entered the underground and found a quiet and mostly try tunnel in which they could let his raw fire power loose without destroying anything of importance.

She stood before the darkhaired godling and gave him only a trickle of power. "Show me a ball of light." Surely anyone could do that.  She'd seen the youngest of godlings do that.

The adrenaline of amazing recording sessions and her impromptu time with Ezvin was dying down. Cadence had spent some time at Kallisti when she was able to learn and share more about magic.  She resisted the urge to find the light within her, but ever since The Nest, she had felt stronger. Not by a lot, but it was noticeable. The people at Kallisti were great. They always seemed willing to share and were welcoming. Learning how to connect her power with someone else was pretty amazing too. 

But the energy was coming down.  Cadence knew what this meant. She would crash.  Sometimes it was depression, other times it was anger or just the feeling of not wanting to do anything. What had surprised her though was that she hadn’t wanted to stay in as she usually did.  She didn’t want to hide in her house. She wanted to be out. So she googled places to go and found this cafe with paintings on the wall. Cadence read the name of the artist: Thalia Milton. Cadence wasn’t a visual artist, but she had a great appreciation for it.  Some for for sale - maybe she’d take one home. She ordered her beverage, a cortado, and noticed how the barista gave her a second glance. Cadence just smiled and sat down underneath one of the paintings and began to think. There was a lot on her mind and a lot she was worried about. 

For one there was Nox. She hadn’t gotten a chance to meet him because she had felt a strong need to help the girl Marta, but she already admired him.  What he was doing for those kids was nothing short of amazing. She had finally met with Emily Shale about her orphan project, and Nox was involved there too. Cadence had made a sizable donation, but kept it anonymous. She grew up frugally, but music had made her wealthy. She had way too much so she gave a lot to charity.  She believed in that mission though, but the way he had changed had been on her mind. She hoped he was okay. It seemed like he had a lot of people who cared for him.  

On the other hand there were her parents. Things were very unstable in the United States and she was worried about them. They’d be arriving for Christmas soon. Maybe she could convince them to stay. Cadence just didn’t like them being there with everything going on.

Then there were the normal stressors which at this point was her album. Recording for the new project had been going extremely well though. The momentum had built with Ezvin’s guidance and had just stayed. She had the vision and they were seeing it happen. It had been an amazing experience. 

Her thoughts went to Ezvin and in a way she was surprised he wasn’t among her worries.  She liked him more than she had really liked anyone before. But he had told her early on that he wasn’t good at the long game. Maybe that’s why she was content with where they were currently. She still couldn’t believe she had invited him over. Perhaps she was growing a bit. 

Cadence sipped at her drink and looked around, gauging the other art. It really was a lovely place. Cadence pulled out her wallet and began to look through her contacts. Maybe she could ask someone to come and talk or something.  She didn’t really want to be alone right now, but also didn’t want to bother. Casey would come in a heartbeat. Cadence put her wallet back down and wrapped her hands around the warm cup holding her beverage.  She closed her eyes end breathed in the steam, trying to relax.

Cor stood outside, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he took a deep inhale. People thought it odd or even ironic that a firefighter was a smoker.  There were more of them than most thought.  It was a stressful job and people often found nicotine relaxing.  Strange since it was a stimulant. Oh well that didn’t matter. 

Cor removed the cigarette and blew out the smoke, deep in thought.  The Blackthorn fire still on his mind.  In the end, it was ruled as an accident. Cor was sure it wasn’t, but he couldn’t prove it. Things just weren’t adding up.  The damn house went up too fast, and the CCTV in the area going offline just reinforced that.  But technically it was all circumstantial evidence. There was nothing else to go on overall. So it went down in the books as accidental. 

A final inhale on the cigarette, and Cor blew out the smoke as he snuffed the cigarette out. He placed the butt in the receptacle next to the door before heading in, leaving his door open. Unless he was meeting with someone, his office door was open. The crew was sitting down, playing cards it seemed. It wasn’t a heavy day, but he knew they would all drop whatever they were doing if the call went out. They waved at Cor amicably as he entered, and he returned it with a smile as he entered his office. The Blackthorn Fire had him thinking of a lot of possibilities. Possibilities that he decided he wanted to discuss with someone else - just to see what they thought. He was about to call for someone when the door to the department opened. A brunette wearing a paramedic coat walked in and was about to join the rest of the crew. She would do.

”Raikov, come in here. Want to chat for a bit,” he said, smiling inwardly. She had taken a long lunch today. He didn’t care, but the use of her last name might make her think she was in trouble. At the very least it would get her attention.

Anna stood offstage ready to go on for her set. Tonight was a little different. It wasn’t Christmas Day, but it was close. Anna decided to go for a Christmas themed dance for tonight. Tonight she wore bright red lingerie and a red Santa hat. Her clothing didn’t cover much. Kallisti wasn’t a strip club, but that is where Anna first bit her experience with adult entertainment. She wasn’t ashamed to leave little to the imagination. 

Anna’s song (an upbeat jazzy Christmas number) began and she pulled out her prop. It was simply a candy cane. She put it into her mouth as she walked on stage. Her dance began. She pulled no stops. Anna knew how to be sexy. She moved with a grace she hadn’t show before at Kallisti. It hadn’t been bad before, but she had been hiding back. It was partially comfort. She had grown comfortable being here now, but also she wanted this to be a night to remember for her. 

She recieved applause and a few whistles to her outfit and dance. The candy cane would certainly get some men thinking about things. That of course was the point. At times she’d remove it as she danced. It was all in fun. She smirked as she embraced her power and began to channel. 

Anna had never done it before. She had never channeled at Kallisti. She summoned lights of  red and green that sparkled around her. She had been working on it quite awhile, and her confidence was to a point where she could do it. Anna had learned how to tie off weaves, so she created the orbs one at a time, tying them off to float around the stage. They’d last through her dances and dissipate. If not, she could easily untie them for the next dancer. 

Magic being used at Kallisti wasn’t a new thing, but like most dancers here, she had her regulars. A few gasps of surprise came from the crowd as she arranged her orbs in the shape of a Christmas tree. Anna moved to the front of the stage and got down, lying on her back. She began to entertain those close to the stage. 

”I didn’t know you could use magic’” one of her regulars said. 

Anna smirked, pulling the candy cane out slowly. ”We all have our surprises,” she said with wink as she returned the candy cane and stood up to finish her dance.

Nox had sent his contacts at the Kremlin another important message 

New information the Ascendancy will want to hear personally

Though he never expected to meet with the man himself, he was always pleasantly surprised the most powerful man in the world took the time to meet with him -- personally.  He could just send a guy no matter how important the information was that Nox needed to relay to the Ascendancy. He had a handler, though he'd never actually met them in person but still the day to day stuff was not Nikolai Brandon's problem, but this -- this not channeling, healing and linking -- that was important.  Important enough to request the audience directly.

Nox did the usual.  He came dressed like always though this time he was sans the big puffy coat he'd been wearing.  There was no need for it with the warmth of the power flitting around his skin keeping him warm.  Though he dropped the power once he was inside. He didn't want to set off any of the Nine Rods of Dominion -- and he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to see Jay anytime soon.  That rejection stung alittle more than it had when it happened.  A lot hurt more now, than it had a week ago.

The receptionist looked up and gave him a curious glance.  She wasn't new. She knew who he was but Nox gave her his best smile. "I've an appointment with the Ascendancy -- Nox Durante." She nodded towards the chairs. "Someone will be with you shortly."  As usual they always doubted someone like him had a meeting with the Ascendancy. It'd be funny if one day the Ascendancy actually greeted him.  But that wasn't likely unless he was on the way out and it was a walk and talk meeting.  He didn't think the Ascendancy did those -- he was a normal person and he was always busy.

The church was tucked between two wide, snow-dusted boulevards, its bell tower rising like a sentinel against the Moscow night. Not a landmark for tourists, nor so small that it went unnoticed. Its stones were worn but tended, the old wood of the doors darkened by years of weather and hands that had pushed through them.

Jensen chose it for exactly that reason. It was Catholic. Foreign enough to him that he would be just another quiet stranger slipping into a pew, but not so obscure as to feel abandoned. He wasn’t here for novelty. He was here for a place where no one would know his name. Where no one would look twice.

The nave was warm, filled with the low murmur of prayers and the scent of incense that seemed to sink into the stone itself. Midnight Mass. Candles flickered in their brass holders. Children yawned against their mothers’ shoulders. Families gathered close, coats draped across pews.

Jensen slid into a seat near the back, leaving distance between himself and the nearest worshippers. He did not belong among them. He knew it in the tightness of his chest, but he bowed his head when they bowed, rose when they rose, murmured the words he half-remembered. It was enough to pass as one of them, even if the motions felt borrowed.

His mind was elsewhere anyway. With Rachel’s trembling hand in his, with the sudden light that had returned to her eyes. With Emily’s relief, with her gratitude. He’d left them to their celebration, but the image of them lingered. For one evening he had been a miracle worker. A vessel. A man who could pluck nightmares out of the air and leave peace behind. And now he was, what? Nothing again. Adrift?

His thoughts slid toward Jessika. His wife, ex-wife, widowed wife - he wasn't sure how to think of her. She was here in Moscow now, walking halls of power, wielding authority like it had always belonged to her. He hadn’t spoken to her tonight. He wasn’t even sure he could if he wanted to. But the knowledge pressed on him all the same, stirring up memories best left buried.

The service passed in solemn rhythm. When the priest dismissed them, the congregation drifted out into the winter air in small clusters, voices muted with emotion and weather alike. Jensen followed behind, his steps indirect but steady.

Outside, the cold bit sharp against his cheeks. He pulled his coat closer and was about to cross the street when something caught his eye: a statue set off to one side of the churchyard. A lone angel carved of pale stone, weather-softened but still graceful. Its wings arched behind it, its face lifted slightly toward the sky.

Snow had gathered along the folds of its robe and the curve of its shoulders, softening its lines, but its presence felt like it was watching him.

Jensen stopped before it while the crowd drift on by, their voices disappearing into the night. He studied the angel in the dim light, the way its expression seemed almost tired, yet resolute. A guardian, still standing after years of wind and cold.

He lingered a moment longer, the breath from his lips clouding the air, before lowering his eyes.

Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve and Emily's child had already gotten her a present: Nausea. Of all of the evenings she could have been spending puking her guts out, this one was particularly inconvenient. She had heard of the "morning sickness" but her OBGYN had informed her it could really happen anytime. But tonight - she really wished she didn't have to deal with it, not because of the holiday, but because of what was planned.

Rachel was lying down in her bed. Jared and Mara had gone out into the city for the night. They had all thought it would be easier for Rachel tonight with less people here. Then, at least, Rachel wouldn't be overwhelmed. The sickness she was experiencing wasn't worrying her tonight. It was Rachel - because she wasn't getting better. Emily didn't think it was because of what happened with the sentient. It was because Rachel wasn't trying to fight it anymore. Maybe that was exacerbating things. Emily didn't know. Emily didn't care. She just wanted her sister back. Then Emily had heard the rumors and whispers. She followed them and found they were true, and it led to tonight: Christmas Eve.

Emily finished emptying the contents of her stomach and began to wash her hands, hoping that was it for the vomiting for tonight. Emily looked in the mirror. She wore no makeup tonight. She never needed much of it to begin with, but without it, she couldn't hide the flushing of her face from throwing up or the way her eyes looked tired. She hadn't had the energy to even pick a "nice" outfit to wear and wore simply a pair of jeans and a light blue t-shirt. As Emily looked at herself, she felt like she was seeing a woman who had tried to be strong for so long and was on the verge of snapping.  That made sense because it was true.

Emily was pulled from her thoughts from the ring of the doorbell. She could have used her wallet to see who was at her door, but she didn't need to. She knew who it was. It could only be one person. Emily felt her breath hitch as she left the bathroom. She paused outside of Rachel's bedroom for a second, hoping that this worked.  If it didn't, she would know what she would do.

Emily took a calming breath as she headed downstairs, wishing she had time to get a drink of water before answering the door. The breath was unhelpful.  As she neared the door, her nerves began to take over and her anxiety grew heavier. She reached for the knob and opened the door to see her guest. "Hi," she said, her voice quiet. "Ummm...please...come on in."

Emily found it hard to look him in the eye, so her gaze was downcast. Emily stepped aside so her guest could enter the home unimposed, waiting for him to enter before shutting it behind him.

Jensen was not wrong. It would be better to do this elsewhere. He was trying to keep this a secret. And Xander might want to exploit it in the future. Or maybe…

There was no telling what might happen. 

They pulled up to Jensen’s building and Kristian paid the driver sliding out after his new friend. It was a nice place. Better than living in a hotel. But that was part of the whole gig. Xander had places all over the city.

Scandle had desired career. That wasn’t what Xander wanted to do. So he didn’t give the driver any ideas
 though he would have if things were different. But Kristian was not looking for scandle.

Kristian followed Jensen through the lobby and to the elevator. He was grateful that he was willing to try. Xander had seen strange things but still he wondered if it would work at all.

In the elevator Kristian stirs to the side space between them, “well then maybe just dinner or a drink, not  payment or a bribe?”

Gio and I were chatting about how it would be neat to see all of our Tav builds. If you have one and want to show them off, post below! I'll get started. 

SPOILERS for BG3 ending!! So if you dont know how the game might or could end, stay away!














This was my resist Dark Urge, Dao. A wood-elf monk who fell in love with Astarion and became his spawn. In my head, they go on to rule Baldur's Gate for a long time until the Urge came for her.