The Will To Live (Sanctuary)

[Penny]

((Continued from here))

The truck was warm, but still Penny shivered. The paramedics had some extra clothes in the truck that were warmer than what she had on. The boys went up front and Anita helped her get changed. Penny had tried on her own, but with her shivering she had struggled. She asked Anita for help.  She still wore Anita's paramedic coat. Both the clothes and coat were too big for her. She wanted Anita to at least take her coat back, but there was a firefighter coat in the ambulance that she put on.  It was too big for Anita too, and that made Penny laugh a little bit. They both probably looked ridiculous.

After that they laid her down on a gurney and covered her with blankets. The truck began to move, and even though Penny couldn't see, she knew it was slow. Getting out of the house had shown her how much snow had fallen.  It was more than she had ever seen before. She had also seen her reading tree. It had snapped and landed on the house. That had hurt to see.

Penny was still shivering. She asked Anita why and to her surprise, Anita answered. Penny had hypothermia and that meant her body was loosing heat faster than it could produce it. That sounded scary, but Anita was calm and that helped Penny to remain the same.  Their speed picked up and she heard one of the men up front say they had gotten behind a snow plow. Hope seemed to blossom in every one after that. It all ended when they suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" Anita asked the driver.

"Plow stopped," the response came back. "Driver heading this way."

The front doors opened and the men exited, but they opened the back door and came in, accompanied by another man. The plow driver Penny assumed. He informed them that the snow was too high even for his plow.  It was stuck. The men seemed dejected, but Anita remained calm. Penny didn't know how. She was feeling scared.

"Where are we?" she finally asked, looking outside.

"The Sanctuary of Ascendant Flame is the closest building, but we have to hike to get there. Should we just stay here?" he answered.

That seemed the best plan to Penny, but Anita shook her head. "This isn't stopping anytime soon. We have either until we run out of fuel or until we're buried and start breathing in exhaust fumes. Pack up the water bottles, rehab snacks, and medical supplies.  Tether them to a back board. I'll wrap up Penny. We can make a makeshift harness to help me carry her.  This coat is big enough I should be able to keep her underneath to keep her warm."

They all went to work, including the plow driver. Anita began to wrap Penny in blankets. "I'm scared." Penny finally said.

Anita looked at her, compassion in her face. "I know, honey," she said. "We're close to safety.  It will be nice and warm there and we'll get you all taken care of." Anita put a hand on her cheek.  It was warm. "You're going to be okay. I promise."

The work done, they began to use straps to attach Penny to Anita. They then covered Anita with the coat and buttoned it up. It wasn't very comfortable, but Penny understood why this was best. She didn't complain. They then began their trek towards the building.  One of the medics and the plow driver was in front of them with shovels trying to clear some of the snow to make the going easier. It was hard for them to keep up with how much snow was falling. The other medic was behind them pulling the the back board with supplies like a husky carrying a sled. 

It wasn't easy going. Penny was still shivering. She didn't speak much, but Anita kept saying comforting words. Penny felt guilty. If they hadn't stopped for her, the medics might have made it to safety.  She didn't say it, but she felt it. The cold out here was worse.  Even with the blankets, coat, and Anita's warmth.  Penny turned her head the best she could to get a look.  She could see the building.  It was so close, but so far away at the same time.

"We just need to get there?" she asked Anita. "They we're safe." Anita confirmed it and even with her calming presence, Penny was losing hope. She was scared she was going to die out here and bring these nice people with her.

I want us to live and all we have to do is make it there for that to happen. the thought kept repeating itself in her head over and over again. I want us to live and all we have to do is make it there for that to happen.

Penny reached her hand out towards the building the best she could while tethered to the woman carrying her - a desperate reach for the safety near them. As she did, a warm light spread through her abdomen. Its contrast to the cold around her made it almost painful.  She gasped and then saw threads of fire and air go in front of them. When they were gone, there was a melted path through the snow. The warm light was gone, replaced only with the cold.

Penny felt incredibly tired then. She had trouble remembering what was going on.  She felt so confused and so cold. "Warm light is gone. Cold...so cold... her voice was quiet as Anita began to run.

[Anita]

Anita was moving as fast as she could. Penny was fighting even if she didn’t know it. Had they not gotten stuck, Anita wouldn’t have been worried at all. She was still in mild hypothermia. As long as she kept warm, she would be okay.

But they did get stuck and now had to go outside again. Anita did what she could to keep Penny warm. They would have to trek through the cold to the only shelter nearby. The going was slow. That irked her. If this girl died, it would be her decision that caused it, but this was the best option out of a bunch of shitty options.

Penny asked her if the Sanctuary was where she needed to go. She confirmed it and the girl gasped. Suddenly, a column of hot air melted a path through the snow. Penny quit shivering. And her words were becoming slurred and delirious. Her hypothermia was no longer mild. She would now lose heat more quickly if they didn’t get her inside soon.

The words struck Anita - “the warm light is gone.” Anita was sure the girl had done it. Her crew wasn’t phased. Whether it was because they knew of magic, expected a miracle, or were just too tired to give a dam she didn’t know. She didn’t care. The path was open.

The men in front of her moved behind her. With the clear path, the shovels weren’t needed. They picked up the back board so supplies and the entire group ran to get inside.

”Find someone to take care of the supplies. I’ll make sure we get Penny somewhere warm.”

The order was acknowledged a they entered the building. The warmth was welcome. People looked in their direction. Anita was sure she looked like shit. She hadn’t slept in days. She was exhausted physically and mentally. Seeing a face she recognized, she moved right to him.

”Quillion,” she said, her voice measured and urgent. ”She’s hypothermic. I need to get her somewhere to lie down - dry and warm. We need blankets to cover her - and I need them five minutes ago.” she said, hoping he understood how serious this was. Penny mumbled against her chest.

[Quillon Hawke]

The day had begun like any other, though Quillon should have known better. Nothing began normally in winter; not in Moscow, and not in a Sanctuary.

At first, the arrivals had been steady. A Seeker here. Another pair, eager-eyed and reverent. That was expected. But by midday, the pilgrims had stopped coming, and in their place arrived others; cold, panicked, with no words of prayer on their lips. They were refugees of the storm.

Now the main hall of the Sanctuary teemed with people. Blankets clutched around shoulders, children clinging to parents, anxious faces turned toward the narrow, frost-clouded windows. They whispered to each other, checked wallets that were struggling to find signal, and when they saw him, they came forward.

Questions.

Did the Ascendancy know? Would He send deliverance? If He had stopped the bomb, surely a snowstorm was within reach?

Quillon answered what he could, which was little. He sent someone to the kitchens for whatever food could be gathered and sent three employees to inventory the supplies, but his fingers itched with the need for order. The Luminar was unreachable. His had been messages sent but they went unread and unreturned.

He stood at the head of the hall and felt numb. Then the doors burst open.

Snow rushed in like breath from a dying beast, curling in tendrils across the floor. Wind roared behind it. Shapes moved in the white-out, staggering beneath packs and supplies, and among them was Anita.

It took three men to wrestle the doors shut again. Quillon watched, motionless, as a child’s hand slipped free from beneath a coat too large for her and then fell limp. Panic threatened to rise in his chest.

Someone beside him asked about deeper rooms where they could place walls between them and the storm. He nodded, vaguely, pointing toward the inner corridors without looking away from Anita.

Then Anita was in front of him, urgent, her voice sharp and level despite the desperation behind it.

Quillon blinked. “Um,” he said.

He could see the girl more fully now. Her skin was pale. Her skin looked waxy beneath the flicker of sanctuary lights.

He didn’t even know how to help, but then an idea came to mind.

“Okay,” he said. “Follow me this way. Hurry.”

He led Anita away from the crush of the main hall and into one of the quieter interior corridors. The noise faded quickly here, replaced by the low hum of climate systems working overtime against the storm. The walls were broken by clean lines of recessed lighting, the floor a muted composite tile scuffed by shoes and hurried feet.

The dormitories came into view. Composite doors with brushed steel frames marked each room, and Quillon’s was the first on the left. He didn’t hesitate to key key it open and stepped aside to let Anita through.

“It isn’t particularly warm, but there are blankets. Fresh clothes, a bathroom. And…” He swallowed, already turning away. Quillon hurried into the adjacent room, his coat sweeping behind him. Loric’s old chambers were empty now, but he took the bedding without ceremony. Loric wouldn’t need them.

Back in his room, he dropped the bundle beside the bed and moved to the drawer beside it. His fingers trembled slightly as he opened it.

Inside were his items for the ritual of Personal Flame. The ritual was intended to awaken warmth within oneself. He’d used it before, but always alone and slowly, not like this. Not when a life depended on it.

[Nora Saint-Clair]

It was only that morning that she finished learning her final exercise. It had been Calliope who walked her through the astrological mysteries, which sounded more like rebranded astrology than it did solving the mysteries of the universe. She was working on her journal when someone came to fetch her. As an Ember, she’d done very little official brotherhood stuff. A little volunteering, a little talking about the brotherhood. But nothing really official. Hence her surprise when she was summoned to the great hall to assist with an influx of people. It quickly became clear to her that these people weren’t Brotherhood seekers, they were simply escaping the storm.

Hours passed where she did nothing but run around. Initially people were cold or hungry. She showed them where to put their wet coats and shoes. As long as the electric grid held, they should have plenty of power to keep the building warm, but as time passed and the storm worsened, tensions were growing, and a lot of it was directed at Quillon.

She’d not spent much time around Quillon. Seraphis led her teachings in the Brotherhood’s ways, but even Nora realized that there was some competition going on between members of the uppermost ranks. She wasn’t sure what they were all competing for; it didn’t seem like there were overt rewards bestowed upon one or another for any one accomplishment, unless someone counted the so-called praise of the Luminar. It made Nora want to roll her eyes. They all sought his approval as if he were the sun itself.

And every time a new group of people filed in the great hall, she silently cursed the great Luminar for his absence. It was obvious that Quillon was in over his head, so Nora did what she could. When the latest group filed in, the severity of the situation really hit her. She finally took a minute to look outside, and it hit her.

She called Claude.

“Hey. I am stuck at the Sanctuary, and just so you know, I’m not freaking out. But what is going on with this storm?”

"Glad you’re safe! No idea. They expected something, but not this much. It’s insane!”

“So it’s kind of bad here.”

"How so?”

“I don’t know. People seem really scared. There’s all kinds of people here saying they’re stuck or can’t get home. And someone brought in this little girl that looked dead.”

“Have you looked outside? There might be some truth to the not getting home part. As for the girl - I’m not even sure what to say about that. I hope she’s okay. Seems like there’s emergency vehicles going around everywhere”

“So vehicles are still going around where you are? Where are you anyway?”

“I’m safe - vehicles have been slowing down lately though. This is bad Nora.”

“But they are getting through? Okay. Do you think you could. Well, okay. I’m fine. And I don’t want you to put yourself at risk, but well…”

“Yes - but soon they won’t be able to. What do you need, Nora. out with it.”

“I wouldn’t hate it if you were here.”

“I can try, but won’t guarantee it. And if I try and I can’t make it, I’ll find shelter.”

“Okay, no never mind. This is way too risky. I’ll be okay. I just had a moment. You stay put. Swear it.”

“I swear it. I’ll stay here. You have a lot of people there?”

“Yah. There’s a ton of people.”

“Going to have to get morale up somehow. You get a lot of scared people, and you’re going to have problems there.”

“Hah! Right. Funny. You always know how to cheer me up.”

“Sorry - my own anxiety levels are a little high too. But cheering people up. That’s an idea. Distractions - something to get people to not focus on being stuck.”

“Ugh. Cheering people up. Because I’m good at that. Okay, I’ll figure something out. Check in soon.”

“If you don’t I will. You know how annoying I can be. Behave or I’ll come beat you up.”

As soon as the call ended, she wiped a tear from her eye and took a steadying breath, ready to go back out and try to cheer people up. Somehow

[Penny]

Penny felt the warm air of the building as she came in. She felt tired now and was no longer shivering. She thought that was good, but still felt cold. A hand slipped out of the coat unbidden. She was tired. So very tired. Her thoughts couldn't stay in one place for once. Her mind was unfocused. She buried her face in Anita's shoulder, mumbling quietly to herself. One of her hands tightened on Anita's shirt.

Penny was moving through the building now, but she didn't look. Every thought passed quickly, but often returned to "we made it." Hope wasn't there. Only exhaustion and cold. The warm light was gone, but she knew that the warm light had saved them. She wondered why she couldn't find it again now. There was something within Penny that stirred. A memory she couldn't place yet. Her mind was addled and she couldn't think straight.

Penny felt herself shift again and she felt Anita's hand gently remove her own hand from Anita's shirt. Penny was laid down on something soft - a bed maybe. Her clothes were removed and promptly replaced by others that felt warmer. Then something was placed over her body. More was added and it felt like a weight.

Penny opened her eyes to find herself in a room. She was laying down in a bed and blankets were covering her. Anita was there and so were the two other medics. There was another man there that she didn't recognize. Anita caught her gaze and gave her a reassuring smile. The stranger was doing something in the drawer next to her bed. He looked as scared as she felt confused. Penny's eyes went between all of them, but finally landed on the stranger, her curiosity making its way through the mind fog she felt. She wanted to ask him what he was doing and why he was scared, but couldn't find the words. At least not yet.

"Penny honey, can you hear me?" Anita's voice said.

Penny could, but it took a bit for the words to process in her mind. "Yeah," she responded, her voice quiet.

"I'm going to give you a drink of water, okay?"

Penny didn't respond, but when she felt herself lifted gently, she didn't resist. A water bottle was brought to her lips and she drank the room temperature water from it. Her gaze went back once more to the stranger. She was beginning to find it easier to focus. She wanted to ask his name, but she wasn't quite ready yet.

[Anita]

Anita followed Quillion to the room. He went to a different room, seemingly distracted with something on his mind. Anita's first thought was to Penny. She had an idea of what was going on with Quillion and would evaluate it soon, but she had to get Penny taken care of first. A moment later, the two medics entered the room.

"One of the Brotherhood named Calliope and the plow driver are getting the water and snacks to their supplies," Ivan confirmed, handing her a bottle of water. "For the girl."

Anita nodded.  The crew got to work. First they untethered Penny from Anita and got her down on the bed. Quillion had mentioned clothes. Deciding that those were better than the cold ones she was wearing, the crew got her changed promptly and began to cover her in blankets. Quillion arrived with more and they continued to cover her. Penny had opened her eyes. That was a good sign. Anita got her some water and knelt down next to the bed.

She turned to Quillion. Anita recognized that look.  It was same look every rookie got when they were involved in their first call that could end someone's death. It was possible, but they had gotten Penny what she needed, and she would likely be fine. Quillion, however, wouldn't know that.  He also appeared to have something in mind. His moves, although nervous, were purposeful.

"Quillion," she said, her voice light and encouraging. "Take a deep breath." He did. "I asked you for a warm room with blankets quickly. You gave me clean clothes too. That needs to happen quickly because as the body looses more heat, the rate at which heat loss occurs increases too. You've helped a lot. You're doing well. We're seeing a lot of good things. Her breathing is normal and she's responsive. Temp please?" she asked Ivan.

He ran the thermometer across her head. "89.6" he told her.

She nodded, continuing to speak with Quillion. "89.6 is classified as moderate hypothermia. Hypothermia is a condition where the body loses heat faster than it can produce it. That's why her temperature is low. We're covering her in blankets to trap her body heat next to her, allowing her to catch up. First step is to get her above 90. That will put her in mild hypothermia. When that happens she'll start to be less confused and she'll begin to shiver as her body's heating system begins to kick in." she gave him a smile. "As long as we can keep her warm, she will be fine."

She looked at the drawer he was digging in. "It looks like you have something in mind to help though. I need you to communicate to me what you're thinking. Anything that can help we will take, but you have to talk to me." Her voice was still encouraging. She knew little about the brotherhood, but heard enough to know many of them had magical abilities. If Quillion was one of those, he could probably give this room a little more heat to help. Anita wouldn't turn that down.

[Quillon Hawke]

When Anita’s comfort turned toward him, something tightened beneath Quillon’s composure. A child lay trembling on his bed, her breath shallow and uncertain, and yet Anita spared concern for him. He did not need it.

His hand paused only briefly in the drawer before continuing its search. If irritation stirred in him, it did not reach his voice. Only a slight narrowing of his eyes betrayed it. When he glanced up, the look could easily have been mistaken for focus rather than offense, for he offered no words to accompany it.

He found the copper disk wrapped in cloth at the back of the drawer. The metal was elemental copper, etched with the sigil of converging lines that marked his Personal Flame. The edges had been worn smooth with handling. He lifted it carefully and stepped back toward the bed where Penny lay.

He did not ask Anita to step away nor did he request silence. As Veilwarden, he was taught to center himself amid noise, doubt, and fear alike. Yet there remained a reverence in the way he moved, as though the act itself demanded discipline.

He raised the disk to eye level and drew in a slow, controlled breath. The first moments of veil walking.

The threads responded, not in spectacle or visible fire, but as a gathering warmth behind his sternum. The memory of white light and impossible heat flickered at the edge of his awareness, and he allowed only enough of it forward to infuse what was required. The copper disk warmed gradually between his palms, first to body temperature and then beyond, until it carried a steady pulse of contained heat.

He lowered the disk and placed it carefully atop the blankets above Penny’s waist.

Spreading his hands outward, he guided the energy around her. He did not drive the heat upward, for flame would have been wasteful and dangerous. Instead, he pressed it outward and thinned it into the surrounding air. Fire wove into Air, and the currents within the room shifted subtly in response. The air above the bedding thickened and slowed, folding inward to form a narrow sheath that clung close to the blankets. The layer was invisible, but it held the warmth in place rather than allowing it to dissipate into the chill of the room. The heat that gathered beneath that barrier was steady and controlled, not sharp enough to burn, but sufficient to push back the cold.

A sheen of sweat formed along his temple for the efforts. He could feel the balance tipping and corrected it with minute adjustments. If he allowed too much energy to flow, the copper would flare and the blankets would overheat. If he faltered, the warmth would bleed away and the effort would be wasted. His jaw tightened as he redistributed a swell of excess heat, smoothing it through the insulating layer until the temperature stabilized.

And there he stayed until she was well.

[Penny]

Penny’s eyes were on the man next to her. Anita had called him Quillion. He was digging through the drawer next to her with purpose. Penny couldn’t help but be curious about it all. She had heard of the Brotherhood. They worshipped the Ascendancy. What was he doing?

Penny wasn’t sure, but it looked almost like he was praying. He held a copper disc in his hand and then placed it on the blanket over her. Every movement was deliberate and practiced. Quillion had done this before. For a moment Penny worried, but it was only because she wasn’t sure what he was going to do to her, but she didn’t think that he wanted to her.

He spread his hands over her and then she felt it. Warmth. Suddenly warm air enveloped her. Penny didn’t know how long she had been in the cold, but the warm ai she felt now was a very welcome change. She gasped in surprise. One of the medics moved as if to check. It was Anita who stopped him.

Penny began to shiver, but even then it began to dissipate quickly. She looked at Quillion - swearing from the exertion from whatever magic he was wielding. Magic like she had used. Penny was sure of it. She had used it to get them to the building. As she warmed her mind began to clear. She didn’t know what she thought of that. She didn’t know how she did it.

”Thank you,” she said to Quillion. For the first time since her house had collapsed she wasn’t feeling chilled and cold.

[Anita]

Anita watched as Quillion continued to move. He didn't speak. She had requested it just so she would know what he was doing. If he was using magic, she didn't want to be in the way. He began to work, using a metal disc as some sort of focus which he placed above Penny's waist. Anita looked at Penny who seemed more curious than anything. Then the girl gasped.

Ivan moved as if he was going to stop it, but Anita held him back. She had seen enough of this magic stuff. She thought she understood what Quillion was after now. He wasn't going to hurt Penny. She smiled a bit as Penny shivered and then the shivering stopped. Penny complexion changed from pale to normal as her blood began circulating correctly. The air in the room had shifted, but the temperature was still the same, but Anita was willing to bet it wasn't around Penny. He had essentially made an electric blanket around her. Penny spoke her gratitude to Quillion and Anita saw her begin to shift under then blanket. Penny's hand came out and grabbed Quillion's, squeezed once and then disappeared back under the blanket.

It was like a weight had been lifted from her. "Thank you for that Quillion," she gave him a smile. "That was really amazing." she turned to Penny. "How are you feeling, Penny?"

Penny gave a smile. "Nice and toasty," she said. The medics let out a chuckle.

Anita stood then. "You should get some..." Anita's voice trailed as the exhaustion hit her like a hammer. The room spun and she found her balance by leaning on the nearby wall.

Ivan was at her side in a moment. "Which way you going, LT?"

"Down," she said, and she felt herself being lowered.  Anita took a seat leaning against the wall.

[color=#51e7a]"Anita - are you okay?"[/color] Penny's voice worked its way through the mind fog.

"I'm okay, honey. Just tired," Anita said. Her body was finally telling her it had been pushed too much and needed to stop. It seemed like both her and Penny needed rest.

She turned to ask Quillion if they could rest here, but was interrupted by her radio. "Rescue 1 for MFD," Cor's voice was clear, but she knew him well enough to detect the hint of concern in his voice. They hadn't checked in in awhile.

She held up a hand and mouthed the word "sorry" to Quillion. "Go ahead, MFD."

"What's your status?"

"We're sheltering in place at the Sanctuary of the Ascendant Flame. All crew is safe and accounted for. I'm guessing by now our ambulance is buried. We have a patient - 14 year old girl - no longer hypothermic thanks to the efforts of the Brotherhood. I think," Anita's eyes met Penny's and the girl gave a nod. "I think she's alone now."

"We can deal with the details on that later. For now, she's in your care. You're instructed to shelter in place for now. There's nothing more we can do out there." She felt her chest tighten and saw the tension in her crew.  People needed help and they couldn't do it. "I have some numbers for you - since yesterday, your unit has responded to over forty calls." That struck Anita.  Fourteen calls was considered a busy day.  She knew what he was doing - getting them to focus on the good they did. "Your unit saved a lot of people in this mess. You're bona fide heroes."

Heroes. The word caused something to snap in Anita. Her breath hitched as she felt warm tears sting her face. Her mind had told her she had reached her limits physically. Now her mind was doing the same thing emotionally. The tone of her voice shifted as she spoke through the tears. "Yeah...big damn heroes sir." She didn't feel like a hero.

"Anita - how are you?" Cor had detected the change. His question was not a simple pleasantry.

"Not so great, sir, but I'll be fine after I get some rest."

"Ivan?"

"Agreed, sir. She was fine until just a few moments ago. We were able to sneak in naps here and there, I don't think Anita has."

There was silence for a moment. "Ivan, you'll relieve Anita of command of the unit until she's rested enough to go back to work. Use your judgement on that. As for now, you all have emergency management training. You are to assist the Brotherhood in whatever way they need you to."

"Yes, sir," Ivan responded.

"Anita - you understand why I'm sure.  You stay with the young lady. Both of you get some rest."

"Yes, sir," she responded quietly. She did understand.

They said their goodbyes and promised to check in later. Anita turned to Quillion. "Quillion, this is Ivan and Yuri. Good men both. We'll assist you in any way we can during this situation. Not me - I'm ordered to rest - but I'll be there when I can." He would know that. He would have heard the whole conversation. She looked at Penny and turned back to Quillion. "Could Penny and I rest here, or is there somewhere else you'd like us to go."

[Quillon Hawke]

His focus remained consistent even when a small hand snaked out to grab his. He didn’t flex back, but a slender quirk of the lips suggested he appreciated the gesture, even if he was too focused to respond properly. When the medics gave the all clear that the girl (Penny?, he thought he heard her name) was fine, he relaxed the flows. 

His arms were quivering by then, and dropping them to his side felt like he was dropping a box full of books to the floor. Back in the hospital when the Man in White had done something similar, it seemed as easy as breathing for him. He briefly wondered if that person was out there right now helping people, and if there was a way Quillon could replicate such ease of effort. But such thoughts were for another time.

Anita literally crashed from exhaustion, and while Quillon was returning the copper disc to the drawer, he watched with some measure of concern for her emotional and physical state. But he didn’t know how to help her other than to give her a place to take a nap. 

“You can rest here with Penny as long as you want, or you can hop into the room next door. Nobody will mind.” The doors were all unlocked anyway. They had no secrets, at least, not those kinds of secrets.