Seeking Control

[Jensen James]

((Sorry about the delay, guys!))

Jensen couldn't diffuse the situation with a smile, but maybe he could do something with the Gift? Calvin's pain came from within, it could work. The Gift worked miracles with other kinds of wounds? Why not those of the heart?

He licked his lips before sharing a glance with Giovanni. They'd worked together before, but the sudden presence of another wielder of the gift might invoke a knee-jerk reaction that Jensen was too afraid to handle. So he warned him with a glance and inwardly turned to the light.

It was always a shock to stream the might of the heavens through one's body. Like God, the glory of it was embedded in raw power. God was love, but He was also capable of anger. It was that wrath that seemed to surge Jensen to his bones.

There was nothing left to do but try siphoning it off an see what happened. His heart was pounding with anticipation. He bit the inside of his cheek, concentrating with all his might and laid the beauty of the gift upon his friend. But when nothing visibly changed about Calvin, Jensen hung his head and sat back.

Apparently some things couldn't be healed.

"Maybe we should go to bed. Things are always brighter by the light of day."



((ooc: He tried the Healing he'd used before, but clearly as nothing is physically wrong with Calvin, it didn't work. So he should have felt nothing. Although Giovanni would have witnessed the attempt.))

[Calvin]

Calvin calmed down, breathing heavily and still crying. Giovanni had brought him a glass of water. Calvin nodded in thanks and began to drink. Despite the emotions still swirling in his head, Calvin felt better after the emotional purge. The need to drink was still there, and Calvin began to realize his emotional addiction to the substance - and that he didn't want the addiction anymore. He wanted to be free, but didn't know how.

He needed help - he knew that now. A counselor maybe. Calvin took out his wallet and searched "Free Counseling Services" not caring whether or not Jensen or Giovanni saw it. He likely couldn't afford therapy now. He clicked the first link, saved the number and made a reminder to call it.

His could still the pain getting stronger as he refused to give in to his addiction. His thoughts drifted until in his mind he was standing on a bridge above a river with his father. Calvin's own pain reflected in his father's eyes. He could follow him. He could jump - there was a river in Moscow. He could end the pain forever. He didn't want to though. He pushed the thoughts away and hugged Jensen again, borrowing some more strength. He didn't want to jump. It would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Jensen likely didn't know how much he had really helped. He helped reveal some important issues to Calvin and unknowingly had helped Calvin realize how much he needed help. Before releasing the hug he said, "Thank you Jensen, Giovanni."


At the mention of sleep, Calvin yawned. The emotional breakdown had really done a number on him. "Sleep sounds good. It has been a really long day. Goodnight."


Calvin lay down on the couch and almost immediately fell asleep. His sleep was riddled with nightmares. He woke up several times during the night. Finally he entered The Dream instead. Hopefully the nightmares wouldn't bother him there.

Continued in Nightmares


Edited by Calvin, Nov 20 2014, 04:49 PM.

[Giovanni]

Giovanni kept control as Calvin began to calm down. It was difficult because Caos wanted him to push Calvin back into the darkness. Giovanni resisted.

He felt Jensen use power and saw the complexity of the weave form that Jensen laid over Calvin. He frowned. It looked complicated, and Giovanni had no idea what it did. Calvin seemed to quiet for a bit, and then thanked Giovanni and Jensen for being there for him. He didn't think the man owed him thanks, but Giovanni accepted it. The man was clearly tired and decided to sleep. Giovanni was glad. It would help Calvin deal with his issues to rest and Giovanni wouldn't have to deal with Caos trying to mess with him more.

After Calvin fell asleep, Giovanni called up power and tried to duplicate the weave Jensen had done. It didn't quite work and Giovanni dropped it. He couldn't do it. He frowned again. "What did you do? Something that made him sleepy?"


It was more proof that Giovanni had a lot to learn.

[Jensen James]

Jensen looked into the palms of his hands. "If I did, I didn't mean to."
His responded softly so as to not disturb Calvin.

He watched Calvin sleep for a moment, hoping the rest would do him good. Many darknesses were alleviated with the dawn. Perhaps he'd feel better tomorrow. If not, Jensen would listen. It was all he could offer.

"Maybe we should sleep also. I'd like to read for a while. You can have the bedroom. I'll take the office since I'll be awake a while anyway."


He fetched a couple blankets and one of the pillows from the bed and dropped them in the office before returning to change into something more comfortable. His bike clothes were warm. but soggy and dirty.

"Good night, Giovanni."
He said with a soft smile and sealed himself in the office.

[Giovanni]

Giovanni smiled at Jensen. "Thank you Jensen...for everything."
Giovanni meant it too. "Goodnight friend."


He went into the room after Jensen retreated to the office. He would make sure that Jensen would get the room sometime too. It was his room after all. Giovanni sat in the bed and felt strange. He wasn't sure how to describe it. He guessed he had missed having a home.

He went to bed in short order. He was tired and tomorrow would be a big day with promises to keep.

[Calvin]

Continued from Nightmares

Calvin awoke from the dream, his thoughts running wild. Dawn Wind was dead - gone forever. The blame creeped up despite the way he had felt in the dream. It had been his fault. The wolf had told him to leave, and if Calvin had, perhaps Dawn Wind would still be alive. Calvin shook his head - Nimeda had been unique, but he was unsure of why the wolves had warned him about her. That made Calvin think of the wolf that had felt like Snow - Calvin thought that might be important.

Thoughts were interrupted by a pain in his chest and Calvin looked down to see a bloody shirt. He pulled his shirt off, wincing as he did. The blood had clotted and stuck his shirt to his body. Removing it reopened the wounds. The three claw marks were easily recognizable. The nightmare had given it to him. As Dawn Wind had told him, the nightmare was real, and if he got hurt in the dream it happened in the real world.

Calvin stood up, using his shirt to keep the blood from making a mess in Jensen's home and headed to the bathroom. He grabbed a towel, and washed the wounds in the shower before wrapping the towel around the wound to stem the bleeding. He put his bloody shirt on over that. He had nothing else and would have to change when he got home.

Calvin found a piece of paper and since Jensen and Giovanni were both asleep, he wrote a note to Jensen:

"Jensen,

Thank you for your hospitality. The lemonade was very good. I had to leave, but at least wanted to say good bye and thank you. I needed to take a towel this morning. I have left some money to replace it. Please feel free to contact me anytime.

Calvin"


Calvin scrawled his contact information at the bottom of the note and left it with some money on the counter before putting on his coat and heading home. He showered and changed when he got home. As he entered his kitchen, he was a bottle of whiskey on his counter.

It called to him as it always did. He could have some reprieve from his grief about Dawn Wind. His emotions swirled again, and Calvin tried to force them away. They didn't go. He kept hearing the words "bad father" "bad son" and "bad friend" in his head. Succumbing to the temptation, he opened the bottle and began to drink.

He was mad at himself for doing it, which only fueled the drinking more. He became more intoxicated and lay down on his couch, feeling guilty, sad, and angry all at once. The memory of turning into a wolf and killing the nightmare with fangs came back and he felt the wolf calling to him.

Calvin broke down until he was interrupted by his wallet buzzing. He picked it up and saw that his reminder to call a counselor had gone off. He stared at the message, knowing he needed help. He couldn't do this alone. Drunk and upset, he dialed the number.

A secretary answered, asking how she could help him, and he responded quickly before the courage disappeared. "I...need to see a counselor...about depression and substance abuse..."