Saving Cayli

[Natalie Grey]

Cayli Carpenter

"I know Doctor Diaz discharged you, sweetie, but please think of my nerves -- you should be resting until we know you won't relapse. Thank goodness for the Pastor! I just about fainted when I realised you weren't in bed, Cayli. By God's good grace you shouldn't be wandering about alone in a place like this! Anything could have happened to you." 

Cayli's wet hair was dripping all down her back, sinking cold into her t-shirt. She trailed miserably after her mom. Jay's hoodie was bundled in her arms, hiding the bright pink nails she knew mom would despair at. She gave her a flat look and tried very hard not to roll her eyes as they bundled into the elevator. 

"I wasn't on my own, mom." 

Mom's lips twitched as though to purse, but she said nothing. She didn't need to. Cayli's chest surged with the desire to say what had really happened at the hospital, only to sigh petulantly instead, like oxygen was a very affront to her lungs. She needed to ask Natalie about that. Or Jay. But since she was categorically NOT speaking to him right now it'd have to wait. 

"Can I have my wallet back, mom?" 

Mom's eyes narrowed this time, and Cay already knew the answer. Frustration bit hard but she bit her tongue harder. That just wasn't fair! She'd already missed so much of her life this past year staring at hospital walls and enduring a battery of tests.

"Pleease?"

But mom was not swayed.

"Maybe later, sweetie. Now go and get yourself cleaned up whilst I look for your dad and your brother. If I knock their heads together hard enough perhaps we can actually have a nice meal, all of us together. I hate to think what Pastor James must think of this family." 

Yeah. If you can even find dad in here. Cay watched the ding of the floors in silence, foot bouncing impatiently. Anger and resentment made a bitter cocktail, too much to bear, but somehow she sank it deep. Pissing mom off now would only make it more difficult to escape later. There was NO WAY she wanted to sit and squirm as dad and Jay took chunks out of each other, or stifle down the horror of what Jay had done to Anna Marie while mom tried to play happy families.

When she got to the room, the door just about slammed off its hinges behind her. 

[Jay Carpenter]

Alistair had eight hours to produce the information Jay demanded. It was obvious he had access to the knowledge. The man was able to scrape together what was basically a file copied straight out of Pentagon vaults. This should be nothing. Jay only needed a name. One name. One place. Who ordered their strikes on the Cartel? Where was Andres meant to go? With the answers came leverage; with the leverage came the tools to keep his family out of Zacarias’ reach.

He looked at Alistair’s wallet again. Turned it off and on. Held it up to the light. Eight hours came; and like a flash, eight hours were gone. Thirty-minutes past the deadline, Jay wandered the parking lots when he called it again. His heart was nearly stopped while the call rang unanswered.

Pacing wasn’t good enough of a distraction. The seconds ticked by like dripping syrup. He wrung his hands together. Scrubbed his hair. Tugged on the hem of his shirt. He wanted to run again, just to burn off energy. Instead, he found himself toiling with the Dominion’s power. Turning and twisting the lines into boxes like he had on the plane. He even thought about doing pushups or something. Anything.

The waiting was going to kill him.

At an hour past the deadline. He sent Alistair a message since the calls were ignored.
“You’re late,” he typed out.

To his shock, a response almost immediately arrived.
“When you’ve upheld your end of the bargain, I will uphold mine.”

Jay almost crushed the delicate device in his palm. A slick of oil filmed the inside of his mouth bitter. Dirty.

Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut, biting back the knots twisting his gut. Alistair had him cornered. To get the thing he needed most in the world, he had to give up the thing he wanted more than anything.

He had to find Natalie.

---

Knocking, he leaned on the frame, wondered if she was awake, praying that Cayli didn’t answer it. She must have found Natalie drunk out of her mind, weighed by sins and horrors like a blanket pulled up over her soul. She’d seen Jay that drunk before, also. At a time in his life he wasn’t exactly proud of.

“Natalie?” He called. No sound stirred on the other side. He tried the door knob. His key fob wouldn’t work on hers, and the slow creep of worry darkened his thoughts. “Natalie.” He said, louder.

The power made short work of the lock system. Sparks flared in the short-circuit. Black charred the frame as he shoved it open. Found her room empty. Literally, empty. Even her bag of belongings were missing.

He ran from there, door left ajar, and sprinted to his parents room, pounding on the door. Mom opened it with a huff of surprise, but Jay pushed by her. Cayli was lounged on a bed, knees drawn up, t.v. on.
“What’d you do?” There was harsher accusation in his tone than he meant.

Cayli blinked those big, innocent eyes.
“What’d you do!” She bit back.

They just stared at each other while mom circled around, tugging on his arm. He shoved her off. 
“Natalie is gone. When was the last time you saw her?”

Cayli shot a glare at their mother. Caroline was looking right fearful, maybe a tad guilty. She just brushed her palms together and shrugged. “Jay, it’s for the best. It was time she went home. We don’t need to be taking up any more of her valuable efforts better served elsewhere.”

His jaw dropped. She went back? She went back. She went back.
“No, no, no, no, no…” He muttered, pacing a ravine into the carpet. Mom said something to her that set her off. Alistair wanted Natalie out of the Custody. Jay? Jay had no idea what the hell he wanted.  

“Who’s Alistair?” Cayli interrupted. Jay froze. Not realizing he’d been talking out loud.

Jay swallowed. “Nobody.” He hurried from the room, sweeping in and out of his family’s lives like a storm. His only parting words were, “I have to find her.” Where could she have gone? Its not like there was a subway around the corner to ride to the airport. Des Moines was a 2-hour drive away. No rental cars. No taxi services.

He stopped in his tracks and pulled his regular wallet, the one with the rental car company’s app embedded. She couldn’t? She didn’t even have the key system. A finger’s brush and a holo-map of the state lit the hallway. There was the car. Blinking a nice little dot about a mile from the airport. He was an idiot. A fucking idiot. 

“Jay? What’s wrong?” A gentle voice interrupted. Jay spun, torment twisted his brow low. He didn’t want Jensen to see this.
Since the guy was here, he pointed to the dot. “That’s Natalie,” he said. 
He studied the map quizzically, “She’s in Des Moines?” 
“Yep.” 
“Why?” He asked.

Jay couldn’t even begin to answer that question.

He could report the car stolen and the rental company could disable the engines remotely. That wouldn’t work. She could get a ride-share service to take her the rest of the way. That left one option, and he really, really didn’t want to tell him.

He sent Alistair another message: “Natalie is gone.” 
A response returned quickly: “Seems you’re not as charming as you thought you were, Jay Carpenter. Find my daughter.” 
He swallowed, looked at the map, and responded, hands tense with lies: “I don’t know where she is.”

As it seemed the hallway was a great place to congregate for a nice little family meeting, mom and Cayli joined them. Dad was still missing, but everyone knew where he was.
“I’ll deal with Natalie. We still need someplace safe for the both of you,” he fixed his stare upon Cayli. “I don’t know where to go and how to get you there, but you can’t stay in Iowa.”

That was when Jensen touched him on the arm. Jay blinked as he turned to the preacher.



(With Jensen and Alistair)

[Natalie Grey]

Cayli

Cayli's heart sank to her feet. She loitered by mom's elbow, watching Jay's stupid face, hurt that he imagined she had been the one to drive Natalie away. Why was he so surprised anyway? The only surprise was what she hadn't run a mile sooner. She had no reason to stay. Mom acted like she was invisible, and dad was apparently convinced she was some sort of Russian spy (because, obviously). Jay never corrected them. Hell, he never even introduced her at the hospital before she prised Jay and dad apart with a few words, nor since. What the hell WAS an ambassador?

She frowned down at her feet. "Did you know she spent the whole morning with me today? Since apparently I'm only important to YOU when I'm dying. Maybe you ought to let her go. Not like you have a great track record." Tears sprung like hot sparks despite herself, but it wasn't Natalie she was talking about now. She showed no signs of being starry-eyed about her brother, and Cay saw the tells often enough to recognise them. But Anna Marie had been a part of their family for as long as Cayli could remember, even after Jay broke her heart the first time. She was like a big sister, always popping in at the farm. And she always had time for Cay.

Would she even see her again now?

The potential loss wrenched hard in her chest, at war with the anger. How many days until Jay was gone again? Leaving only wreckage in his wake. He was just. So. Selfish! WHY couldn't they stay in Iowa? Cay's life was in Iowa. Only there was no point in asking. Jay wouldn't tell her anyway. Mom's arm snaked around her shoulders like she were still a kid, but for once she only appreciated the gesture quietly.

[Natalie Grey]

Azu always hated the way she drove; that reckless combination of too much speed and too loose a grip on the steering, even on unfamiliar roads. Once the highway opened up like a straight arrow, Natalie used her knees to balance the wheel, one hand guiding from her lap. The other propped her head, pale hair streaming in the cracked window. Music rippled from the radio, the twang of whatever station Jay had set it last. She was quiet inside. 

There were already two missed calls on her wallet, both anonymous, so by now her father clearly realised she no longer had his device in her possession. That meant Jay had definitely used it to reach out, a consideration she chose to let sink from view as soon as it occurred to her. He'd had no right to do that. 

And surely, surely he must realise how poor an idea it was, as an American defector to the CCD, to open voluntarily channels of communication with a convicted terrorist. 

Other than that the tech reigned silent, broken only by the muted directions from the satnav. Natalie was glad of it, though realistically Cayli was the only one likely to note her departure. Assuming her mother hadn't confiscated her wallet entirely she was also the only one Natalie would expect to hear from. She could have assayed any fears of abandonment by leaving a message in the first place, but truthfully she planned to be back before nightfall. Enough time for peace without the claustrophobic cage of four walls, and far away from the temptation of stone cold stupor.  

But speed and distance seeded doubt. 

After this morning, Cayli knew enough for Natalie to have technically fulfilled her promise. Jay's family made it clear she was not welcome, and even Jay himself made the division brutally plain (don't think about it). It was not like Natalie cared what people thought of her; walls of apathy tipped a gentle shrug against the knowledge that she was outright disliked. That, she could deal with. But with Jay she had made a mistake, finally realised. 

When he joked about bringing her home, she had recoiled warily at the insinuation of something more than an ephemeral kiss, and thought those walls unbreeched. But despite best intentions a chink of that beguiling softness slipped in, and something had grown in the hollow space. Something like hope, small and strained as new shoots in barren land. Vulnerable, too. 

So terribly foolish. Hindsight brought a touch of winter to that green place. She was glad she couldn't remember exactly what she'd told him about what she felt. 

He left you on the bathroom floor, Natalie. Went straight to the arms of the woman he'd planned to marry.  

She twisted the knife in her own chest often enough on that journey. Until numbness replaced the pain. She didn't blame him, not really. Though he could have at least been honest before she'd made an idiot of herself. 

She flicked the volume up, swallowing the thoughts. 

She could just go back to the Custody at this point. It was unlikely Jay would abandon his duties, and if he kept to his word Brandon would have no reason to punish her. She didn't covet the Ascendancy's trust. She didn't care that her family's carefully laid plans would smoke like ash should she burn these bridges in escape. It would actually be simple to divert for the airport instead; less than twenty minutes separated it from the park that was her destination. No one would stop her; in fact she was sure the ending would be quiet, with not even an echo of its passing. A relief for all involved. Except sheer stubbornness galled her from the finality of such a decision, digging her heels tight against expectation of the easy path. 

She wouldn't walk away, because that was precisely what it felt like she should do. Jay didn't get to make that decision for her, no matter who he chose to share his bed. 

Cayli deserved better than that. 

Natalie sat for a while after she parked up, listening to the engine pop and cool. The file spread across her lap as though new answers might elucidate upon a second sort through the information, but all it actually did was make her feel like she drowned. Who ordered the strike? Who stood to lose or gain from the mission's failure or success? All men had a price, and all men had secrets. Someone had wanted Andres alive, and perhaps that someone may be leveraged. 

Because there was no hope of parlaying with Zacarias (although, against her better judgement, she even considered it). She'd seen in gruesome detail what Jay had done to Andres Amengual's chest. There was no scope for forgiveness there.

Ryker? Perhaps the last pair of hands she would trust with Cayli's life, but he was clearly involved -- and had both Zacarias' and Nikolai's ear. A Custody man, which should have made him an ally. And all men had their price. But the twist of Nikolai's smile left an ill feeling her stomach. A warning she heeded. 

What a mess. 

She signed sharply, realising only by chance then that the pages of the dossier were numbered and that page five was missing. Not one of the pages she'd destroyed, she did not think; those clustered together. It was gone, or it had never been there. Though either way it was becoming clear how little she could do to help, whatever information lay gifted in her lap. Futility pinched her brow. She slammed everything away, and got out. 

The sun peeked shy warmth; summer's guilty face after last night's storm. 

A trail curved around the swell of the lake, crushed rock marking the path sweeping in and out of the tree line. From the map she could see it sandwiched between the river from whence the park got its name on its winding journey. An artificial beach. A flat grey nature lodge. Wildlife and dirt were not her natural allies, but she'd wanted somewhere without the temptation of a bar. Music lulling her ears, she followed the crunch of the path. Scrubby grass followed alongside, and on the dark blue stretch of the large lake kayaks bobbed about in the distance, even further out the length of a pier strung with fishing lines. She wandered for a while, enjoying the soft warmth on her skin, until she found a picnic bench shadowed by the limbs of trees.

She sat, flattening the crumpled scrap of paper from her pocket. If she called the number she would be consenting to playing her father's game, a risk she was flatly unwilling to take. It'd be a first step in closing the distance, forgiveness she was too cold to give. In case of fire break glass, indeed. A sick joke; one she imagined he thought might elicit a small, grim smirk. They shared those morbid threads of humour; always had, to her mother's horror. 

She'd nearly died in that fire. 

Her eyes half lidded, sorting through her thoughts. When she'd received this information her father did not know she was hours away from journeying to the States. This was not to help her circumstances now, so why had he sent it at all? By the unpolished presentation, it was a last minute addition. Hindsight or second thought. 

A search of the name brought up nothing of note. No links to the Amenguals, and no hits against the ball's guest list either. The number turned out to be for a pharmaceutical company. She browsed its website, unsure what she was really looking for. Nothing made sense. This shiny corporate world was a universe away from a Central American drug lord and a black listed mission. Natalie leaned away from the assumption her father had made anything so mundane as a mistake, but the links here evaded her. 

Then she happened upon a photograph; a clustered group of professional men and women that the tag denoted as the company's board of directors. And one man in particular tickled an entirely unrelated memory; dark hair, smug expression, arms folded. 

It was Cayli's doctor.

[Jensen James]

The epiphany was shocking, as epiphanies were wont to do. He knew exactly how to help. So Jensen reached out to tentatively interrupt Jay. “Come to Dallas. I’m meeting Jessika there. It’ll be the safest place. She’s Governor,” he explained for Caroline and Cayli’s sake. Maybe a hint of pride touched his voice. Jessika always talked about entering public service. He wasn’t sure how aware of Texan politics they were. “Nobody would possibly know you were there. You can stay at my house. It has 7 bedrooms and 10.5 bathrooms. It’s plenty of space.” He smiled reassuringly. “It even has a pool.” He said to Cayli.

[Jay Carpenter]

Well, that felt good.

Definitely, good. Like a nice warm towel on sore muscles. Maybe a foot rub. Watching a good movie (with popcorn, because seriously, popcorn).

He just looked at Cayli, back and forth between them all. His baby sister should be playing with makeup and deciding what dress to wear to the spring dance, not watching her heart be ripped in half repeatedly. As much as Jay wanted to glue the shattered pieces of her innocence back together, he couldn’t. Tears welled glassy across eyes blue as a bright, summer sky. The same color as his own. Ones that were beginning to burn with heat himself.

When his shoulders slumped, he cringed. None of them would comply unless they had more to go on. Dragging them from the hospital. Throwing them in the car. Abandoning the house.
How to even start?
“You know I was special forces.”

His mouth went dry.
“A mission, my last mission, I – uh…” darkness, flashes. Some near; others distant. They crawled out of the ocean that night: a dark beach. Not a single sound of boots on the sand; only that of crashing waves. Salt curled his nose. Sand cool after a sizzling day.
The SEAL team split off, a different entry point. A different target. The same mission.

He looked his mom in the eye. When he told her and aunt sarah he wanted to go shopping with them at the Des Moines mall on the day after Thanksgiving, those same drawn, weary eyes looked at him with disappointment. Mostly for not telling her his true intentions. For using her as an excuse to find a recruiter’s office.

She was looking at him now, lips drawn to a thin line. She’d endured so much over the last year. Years, really. When he graduated, mom, dad and Cayli flew to San Diego to watch his presentation. They took a picture together and mom hugged him so tight, whispering that she was proud. And it was like everything was forgiven. Her blessing.

He couldn’t tell them that he killed Andres in cold blood. “Someone important died who wasn’t supposed to die. It was my fault,” he swallowed. It was as close as he could come to the truth. He dared not look at the preacher.

“That someone had a family. A brother, specifically. Bad guys, all of them.” He looked Cayli in the eye, “they were all bad guys. Every single one.” He thought about the girl that he saved; wondered what she would grow up to be with a family like that. “Well, they want revenge. They want you, Cayli.” He crossed to her, grabbing their shoulders protectively. “I will stop them. With every last shred of me, I will protect you.”

“Take Jensen’s offer. His wife is governor of Texas. There’s no place safer I can think of.” He’d beg if he had to. Really didn't want to have to kidnap his own parents.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, mom nodded. Jay grabbed her bony shoulders and gathered her and Cayli into his arms. Cayli felt so small against him, but the top of her hair bunched under his chin anyway. She’d gotten taller than he remembered. Relief felt like an odd companion after the past few days.

His eyes floated upward about then. Movement down the hall. Dad was coming. For once, it was good timing. “Fill dad in. We’ll leave as soon as you’re packed.”

He watched them disappear into their room a few moments before plunging into his own. His own belongings were neatly laid out, including the Custody uniform, but it would only take a minute or two to pack again.

[Jay Carpenter]

So they were ready at lot sooner than Jensen could figure out how to get them a car. It took money, reservations, and a phone call from the governor of Texas, but a couple hours later, they were loading their bags again. Cayli sat in the middle of the back row, squeezed between mom and dad. Jensen rode shotgun, Jay planted himself in the driver’s seat. For one thing, he knew the quickest routes. For another, well, best if he drove.

He was acutely aware of the absence among their number. Leaving the casino without Natalie in the rearview mirror basically made him want to change his mind, tell Jensen to lead onward without him, and stalk off in search of Natalie. For another, she had a good $6,000 worth of firearms in that car. It wouldn’t go over well if it was confiscated. Ambassador or not. He checked the rental company’s app one last time. The dot hadn’t moved in a few hours despite the proximity to the airport. Why was she just sitting there? Some kind of green space alongside a lake. What was the wait? Or was she debating?

They had to drive that direction anyway. A commuter jet was supposedly en route. Jensen wasn’t kidding when he said he was loaded. How did people need so many bathrooms anyway?  Jay tried not to think about how he came by all that fortune.

“Why can’t we just call the police?” Mom asked.
Jay kept his gaze level with the horizon.
“Police can’t keep us safe.”
Dad wasn’t thrilled with the answer. “We have the best police force in the world, Jay.”
He desperately wanted to turn up the music. “Yes, dad. I know. This is bigger than the police. There’s things about this mission I can’t tell you. So you’re going to have to trust me when I say that calling the police is a bad idea.”

“Fine. What about the FBI?” Dad asked.

That was definitely a bad idea.

He cranked up the music a few clicks. Jensen was probably regretting his offer about now. From what he heard about Jessika James, he had a feeling that dodging her questions was not going to be so easy. The woman was a shark (no pun-intended).

They stopped a couple hours later for mom to go to the bathroom and Cayli to stretch her legs. “Bring me back one of those heat-up pies. Strawberry kind?” She shot daggers of eyes at him. The silent treatment the obvious weapon. It killed him to shatter the image of the heroic older brother, but the only thing that was important was her safety. His soul was already damned. Might as well not pretend otherwise.

He checked the dot one last time. Still unmoved. No word from Natalie’s father, either. Alistair was a cold bastard. Maybe that was one reason he kind of liked the guy.

“We’re making a small detour,” he said as everyone climbed back in. The jet wouldn’t leave without them. “No pie?” He grinned at Cayli, but his sister folded her arms and kept her thoughts to herself.

As the vehicle pulled from the gas station, Jay checked the mirror as a blacked-out sedan followed. It’d been with them since the casino. Nobody climbed out to go to the bathroom, either. Definitely didn’t zip through a lane for drive-through pies.

They pulled into the park, and for the second time in a day, relief swelled. The SUV was there, but abandoned.
“Is that your car?” Dad asked.

Jay pulled up alongside it and hopped out immediately. The engine of their own car purred quietly. When he brushed his hands along the lock, the sensors clicked it open. Rummaging through the contents quickly located the weapons.

Then his gaze swept the horizon.
He went to Jensen, “would you stay with them while I look around?” 
“Why don’t you stay and I’ll go?” he replied. Jay shook his head. He had to make this right. As much as he wished it could be the other man.

Stetson shielding the setting sun and all its glare from the water from his eyes, he took off at a light run, searching.



((Jensen's dialogue mode with permission.))

[Natalie Grey]

The mystery was a sink hole. Eyes narrowed, chin in fist, Natalie chased it to oblivion, ignorant of the time that fled like sand through fingers. Longer than she'd intended, or yet realised. Notifications muted, she never noticed the messages from Cayli dating hours back either -- at least not until the first tentative beeps of a draining battery. Playing music probably hadn't helped in that regard, but it was the charm that helped soothe her mind from wandering to thornier places. Kind of necessary.

Natalie hated that the puzzle tugged at her; that her mind unfolded manipulations to chase to its centre and unravel it until answers shook free. But it was like breathing too.

She blinked when arches of gold glinted off the screen (she'd stopped using the holos some time ago to conserve energy); felt the first trace of cold goosebumps shiver her arms and legs. She ought to head back, but honestly no fire lit her heels. She swirled the cold remains of a coffee. A few empty water bottles littered the wooden slats of the table, awaiting another trip to the bin. The paperback splayed too, a distraction she'd tried to tempt herself with to little avail. It was a favourite. She knew its pages well anyway, but even old friends sometimes lost their comforts.

Natalie ran a hand over her face, flicking to the messages she'd missed. Her legs stretched under the table, shoes kicked off a while ago, but the grass underfoot was cold and scratchy now. Soon forgotten, though. She frowned at the well of guilt risen for the urgency of the messages she'd missed. Texas? She contemplated that curiously; tried to kick her brain into forming a coherent reply. But it was a startling relief sighed out of her lungs.

[Jay Carpenter]

A gentle slope down to the water’s edge. River rocks lined the path. Would make a great bank to fish from, if Jay ever found a pole in his hands ever again. The gravel crunched under swiftly moving feet, though. Otherwise, the park was quiet. He could almost hear birds chirping. Frogs and cicadas made for symphonies of their croaks and squeals. If fireflies lit the air, he’d know he’d lost his mind at last. Nothing could be that beautiful.

He stopped in his tracks. Wrong. So completely wrong.

Orange flared the sky hot, dazzling the water’s surface like glass. But it was the mop of golden strands that made him want to turn around and run the other way. She’d obviously wanted to leave. He didn’t blame her. In fact, might have questioned her sanity if she’d stayed despite everything. He definitely questioned his own.

Her back was turned. Oblivious. Jay could have been one of Amengual’s hitmen or just a run of the mill serial killer. Natalie out here all alone. She’d been taken once.

He considered flicking her with a swap of the power. Or maybe rustling her with a breeze of unnatural wind. The ornery streak stirred, but he opted for something entirely different instead. She'd appreciate the humor. Hopefully.
”You stole my car!” 

When she turned, she’d find a wry grin plucking at his smile.

[Natalie Grey]

The full force of the news took a moment to sink in. The protection of Jessika Thrice meant a reprieve; a moment to breathe. Her thoughts buzzed a dozen different avenues given the new luxury of time, then pushed the diversion away -- at least for now. Long enough to tap out a guilty reply, anyway.

Sorry, Cay. Distracted. Should have replied sooner.

The response was immediate; DID YOU NOT READ MY TEXTS WE'RE HERE.

Her heart sank lower than she thought possible, buried under a tide of emotions she'd rather not confront at all, let alone find herself ambushed by. The wallet made another plaintive hum of slow death, and she finally pulled the headphones from her ears. Reality snared her the moment the music faded, the soft cadence of nature's symphony softer than silence. She had not been hiding, exactly, but considered it now.

Shit.

The twist of a weary soul buried her face in her hands, brushed the hair over her head, fell silent. She glared out over the water until the tide ebbed and left her empty. Discovered a small spark of dry tinder within, and realised quite suddenly that she was done running. Which was probably just as well, considering the voice that rang behind. The band tightened across her chest like her lungs forgot to breathe, painful. Everything else plunged deep, acutely aware how vulnerable he'd seen her before. Ugliness he turned away from. Though he was not likely to see her like that again.

She rolled her eyes at the accusation.

Better not to turn; she knew that, and abjectly ignored her own advice. Perhaps because she wanted to endure the tugs against her heart and feel it hurt. Did he have to smile like that? Morbidity stirred in place of true feeling. Because even as a dry smirk plucked her lips, the familiarity in that grin tore her down. "Borrowed. Scouting for suitable places to skinny dip. Obviously."