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Convincing Confessions?
Nox gave Raffe a small smile when he reminded Raffe of Jay's notification tone. But the smile was short lived. "It's not ..." Nox didn't really know how to explain Jay to Raffe, but he definitely didn't spark the fireworks the tone implied in a way that ... Even Nox's own mind was rolling. "It's a 4th of July thing -- a blast from my past -- American traditions..." It had been why he chose it at the time. Now he wondered if there was more to it... Doubt crept in.

Raffe's word pulled Nox from his own inward thoughts. He blinked at Raffe in shock at first trying to find the connections. A story -- a horrible story. But what Nox felt was relief more than anything, it was sharing. The worst parts of their life but still sharing. Nox reached his hand and placed it on Raffe's knee. He needed to reassure Raffe. And he needed it himself. He never thought he'd be a touchy feely guy but then again he never thought he'd be in love, or in love with a guy. Or maybe he had. He was a royal ass to women. But he was wandering.

Raffe was his attention. Nox squeezed his leg when Raffe confided in the darkness. Nox didn't have any good news to share. "Of course it's going to change you. Everything changes us. You changed me. But you now have this power inside of you, and it's violent and it's dark, but it doesn't make it evil. You have overcome a lot of darkness in your life. This is no different. It's going to be hard. But it's what you do with it that's going to matter."

Nox sighed. "The Atharim teach that the gods used the power to be worshiped by men. But even in all those stories, there were people like us -- the ones who wanted to do good. They joined forces with the Atharim and they fought the gods. And they were stronger than I am. When the war was over, and the last of the gods slain they ended their own life. It is what I should have done, after I killed my own sister. They thought they were doing the right thing. It's all anyone can do. I don't believe for a single second that you would ever use the power to hurt someone -- even in anger. Yes you once did. Yes the temptation will always be there to use it for personal gain." Nox laughed, "Isn't the old comic book adage -- with great power comes great responsibility?"
He hadn’t meant fireworks like that; in fact the nature of their relationship hadn’t actually occurred to him, though he supposed he had an answer now, if he’d ever thought to ask the question.

Nox’s reassurance was a surprisingly solid thing, foundations that didn’t threaten to sink with the weight of doubt. Raffe hadn’t really realised how much he’d needed to hear it. Usually it was him dishing out the wisdom and comfort to others, or just being the listening ear. He scrubbed a hand over his head, but the lines between his brow had eased. The fears didn’t go. Scars ran too deep for that. But they were subdued, and he felt better for having had the conversation he had admittedly been avoiding. And for sharing about his parents. Not that it had ever been a secret, but neither was it something he chose to speak about with others. Even Carmen.

Talk of the Atharim and their beliefs widened his eyes a little, though he tried not to dwell on it. He understood fear of the power, and what it could do -- hell, even what it felt like. But the thought that they would have expected Nox to kill himself (let alone his family too) made him feel sick to his stomach. It made him realise how much Nox must have lost when he'd discovered he was a channeler. His hand pressed against the one on his knee.

“Did you just Uncle Ben me?” He half grinned. He hadn’t entirely forgotten about the growl of Nox’s stomach, but he was thinking about the things he had said more. Well, one thing in particular. The smile was hard-pressed to dim after that, whatever darkness waited in the future, or how difficult it was going to be to wrestle with this new power, or what might happen with the horde in Nox’s head. Considering which, he tried not to lean in, or spend too much time looking at lips or bare flesh in the soft shadows. “So, uh. Food. This dojo place. Anything else for today’s itinerary? Or tomorrow’s maybe … what time is it anyway?” 
Nox wasn't sure of Raffe's reaction to his stammering about Jay. But he said nothing so Nox would let it lie. There was nothing to worry about -- but he'd also thought the same thing with Elyse. Except he had already sorta cheated on Elyse before Jay with Kali. He was a dick. Nox was aware of his faults and with Raffe he strove to be different.

They shared a great deal in a very short amount of time. Serious and heart felt and completely open about it all. Nox took comfort in Raffe's hand, and wanted to run his other along his cheek but sadly that wasn't possible and the new arm felt like an encumbrance more than a helpful tool. He still had a lot to learn.

He had most certainly Uncle Ben'd Raffe. It made Nox snicker. He wasn't a big fan of comic books, but Aria had been -- specially the decades old classic movies. Her time spent in the archives. His father had grown up with them too, so the few sayings were things he remembered -- that was one of them. One his father had used on him many times though not in the same regards.

Raffe changed the subject and Nox smiled at Raffe with hunger filled eyes. His question left a lot open. The second one Nox had no clue about. "I don't know what time it is. Still very early it's dark." Nox nodded towards the small window that the lotus sat under. "I can think of a few things we could do." Nox licked his lips and let his eyes wander the man in front of him. But his stomach disagreed with which appetite to feed with a loud rumble.

Nox laughed. "I think we've been veto'd." Nox grabbed the new arm and clumbsily attached it. He didn't like the way it sucked to his arm. There had to be better ways to do this -- things he would explore later, but for now it all worked well enough. And it only cost him his loyalty -- which was something he could give as he had none other professional ones to give. "Food first. The rest we can debate. Let me buy you breakfast?" Nox said as he pulled on his jeans. It wasn't quite so easy as he expected, but he did it without help and that made him smile even more brightly -- not that he minded Raffe's help. He liked Raffe helping him, but he'd never been one to rely on someone else for much.

[[ We don't have to go through breakfast -- can jump in with Li and Nhysa in the 'morning' ]]

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