Combing the Grid

[Giovanni]

Aria entered the room again asking if there were any more questions. Giovanni looked at her, confused. She was an enigma and He wasn't sure how he felt about her. She was Atharim, a group that he had been exiled from and now hated, but yet didn't seem to share the same views as many of her companions. She flat out said she was letting him and Jensen go free.

After a few seconds, Giovanni shook his head no, indicating he had no questions for her. It was getting late and he thought he should probably go to.

Where would I go?
he thought.

At least it was a nice night, he could survive in this. He decided he would stay a little longer at least to give Aria some space. She seemed to know that he had angry feelings towards her and didn't want her to expect him to attack.

[Connor Kent]

Connor heard Jensen's words and appreciated them. Aria came back into the room fully dressed in her old clothes. The pants were permanently rust colored but they were clean. She looked like she was ready to go. She appeared exhausted despite the shower. It had been a long night for all of them.

Her voice was bone tired. "Unless you have any immediately pressing, life threatening questions, I need to go home.
"

Connor felt a spike of emotion. The sun was now up and she was leaving. This night was over. It seemed like God or fate had conspired to put him with them. This night seemed almost...well... magical is the appropriate word but without all the romantic overtones, he thought, looking at Jensen and Giovanni. But still more powerful was the gift he had been given, the peace that finally set him free.

He could remember his son now and feel just love and that wistful sadness that he was gone. He could remember those last moments as dear and precious to him, something to cherish- something he was so thankful for. He felt calm at that thought. I love you son. I will miss you buddy. It felt like his son was with him in some way, at least the memory of him.

He stood up after giving Jensen an appreciative smile and went to Aria. He wasn't sure if she would tense up- his rage at her hadn't been that long ago- but he had to do this. She came only up to his chest, but she looked up at him in the eye, unafraid. He thought of the things she faced regularly and knew it it took no great effort. His face showed what he felt inside, though- gratitude, appreciation, calm.

"I want to tell you thank you.
" He shook his head slightly and looked at her in the eyes, trying to communicate this. "What you have given me
"- he looked at Jensen and Giovanni. Aria had given him the answers but they had contributed their part- "what all of you have given me....you can't begin to know.
" He shook his head in wonder. They would never know. But that was ok.

He thought about her group- the Atharim. He wasn't sure how to feel. It was an evil group. But she had honor. She spoke of protecting the weak. She had risked her life to kill that monster. She refused to countenance the killing of people like his son. She was even letting Jensen and Giovanni go- despite the risk to herself- which he figured was a lot. She was good. "I don't like your people- these Atharim. But I know you are not a murderer. And I trust you. I don't know how long I'll be here in Moscow. I've found what I needed.
" He stopped to feel that peace again. "But I owe you. Whatever I can do...I owe you.
" He looked at the men again. "That goes for you guys too.
"

Quickly, almost without thought, he lightly touched her arm. He looked her in the eyes again. "Thank you.
"


Edited by Connor Kent, Apr 9 2014, 04:17 PM.

[Aria]

No one seemed to have anything else. Connor thanked her and them, they had done little, but apparently it had been enough. There was a definite change in Connor's emotions. Still deep loss, but no more desperation and grief.

Aria tried not shrink back from Connor when he started walking towards her. Thanking her from afar was good enough, and then he put his hand on her arm. It was not meant to be anything but friendly, but Aria was tired, her mind was already fighting the waking world on empty.

She closed her eyes focused on not falling over before she took a step back pulling her arm out of his light grip. It came out nothing but a whisper, "Please don't do that.
Aria looked down embarrassed. "Nothing personal."
Anytime anyone said that it was personal, but it wasn't in that particular sense. Aria hadn't wanted to know how much appreciation he felt towards her, she hadn't wanted to feel anything he hid deep down, that even he didn't know he felt. She didn't want to fell anything.

Aria backed away and towards the door. "I have to go.
There was little she could explain right now. Aria quickly opened the door and hurried outside. She hadn't remembered how many floors they had gone up. The elevator could not come quick enough.

[Jensen James]

Jensen was lost in the storm of his own thoughts. His beliefs of the history of the world were very rigid. He was taught that the story of the first men was to be shared as literal canon and not open to interpretation. Thus was how he lived his life. There was an expectation to uphold, and he did so valiantly, until four years ago, of course. But even since then, he still held to those beliefs. They were the anchor by which he justified leaving his life behind. He was undeserving of the perfect little southern family. A cheat, a liar and a hypocrite, he was unfit to tell anyone else how they should or shouldn't live their life. It was all based on a history that tonight was fracturing all around him. Primitive man sharing existence with those that can call upon fire and ice at will? It would have been a remarkable sight. As Giovanni described, they might have worshiped such beings. Men of Renown came to mind, and again, Jensen's gaze trailed to the Bible left open nearby.

It had been on the same spot where Aria had sat all evening that he and John Smith discussed the findings that led Jensen to epiphany and peace. He squeezed his forehead with one hand as though it hurt to think. When Aria announced her departure, Jensen nodded silently, but was too wrapped up with internal debate to do the civil thing and show her out. Connor did the honors.

The room fell quiet after she left. She was the storm that blew through, and they the farmers left behind to pick up the pieces of their world. For Jensen, those pieces were splitting at a pace that he could not keep up. His education afforded him insights into ... admittedly a perception ... of the reality of the universe that poked holes in theories faster than he could rationalize them away.

He wasn't tired, not of body anyway. Spirits and gods left him weary, and lines demarcating the fatigue were drawn deep into his face. "You two are free to stay and sleep. I'll be up for a while still, so the bed and couch are free."
He said. The accompanying gesture invited each of them to take their pick. The bedroom would be darker than here, as already the brightening sky was leaking in through the spacious loft windows and skylight.

He found himself drawn to Giovanni. His interpretation of events seemed legitimate. The man was calm and collected all night as though never having been truly surprised by anything that happened. Jensen suspected he knew more than he let on. He didn't mind Giovanni kept the information to himself. Everyone had secrets, but he wouldn't mind speaking with him further. "I hope you stay."


He nodded and disappeared into the powder room himself, though he didn't close the door. It was only to splash cold water on his face. Perhaps he should give Jon Little Bird or Tony a call.

[Connor Kent]

"Please don't do that,
" she said, when he had touched her arm. She closed her eyes and seemed to gather herself. Then she moved away from his hand.

Connor felt embarressed. He'd only meant it as a friendly gesture, a way to somehow express to her what this night had meant to him, what her and the other's words had given him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean...
" and trailed off. From the way she seemed, he wasn't sure she was hearing him. And he really wasn't sure what to say.

"Nothing personal
," she said in a quieter voice, though she sounded sincere. Well....what's done is done. Just have to go on despite it. She looked weaker than she had just a moment ago. "I have to go
," she said as she backed to the door and let herself out.

And just like that, the room suddenly felt more empty. The spell of the entire night was broken. It reminded him of being at a party or a bar when he was in his youth. As the night wore on, drinks flowing, music playing and conversation springing up everywhere, the evening took on an other-worldly quality. It existed outside of time. It was its own universe. Until it was time to close up shop and the lights came on and everything reverted back to reality, that once again you were in the real world. It felt like that. He had been given a gift. It had been a momentous night. It was unreal in a very real sense. And now the sunlight was streaming through the windows brightly filling the room and they were back in the real world. He'd now have to figure out what to do from here, how to go on from this moment forward.

Suddenly Connor felt extremely tired from the events of last night, the lack of sleep and the draining purge of emotion. He was not tired in his soul. Just tired.

Jensen seemed concerned about something, but Connor was having trouble mustering the energy to try to help. He felt ashamed for feeling that way. But truth to tell, as much as he believed this man was a good man, he didn't know him at all. It wasn't his business or right to pry. He had demanded enough of them tonight. And Jensen kept looking at Giovanni, as if he wanted to talk. It made sense, given their abilities and the run in with Aria- or rather the danger from her group. Mind your own business, he thought to himself.

Jensen offered both of them a place to get some sleep. As much as he wanted to get home, the thought of the trip was tiring itself.

"Are you sure?
" Connor asked. At Jensen's assent, he said "Well, I appreciate it. If it's ok, I guess I'll take the bedroom for a little while.
" That would give them privacy if they wanted to talk. It seemed likely. And he was so tired.

He went into the room and it was pleasantly cool, the curtains doing a good job of keeping out the light. The darkness was pleasing to his tired eyes, as if lessening the pressure of the real world. He went to the bed, took off his shoes and lay on the comforter. He didn't plan on messing up Jensen's covers.

As he lay there, eyes closed, he felt the quiet seep into him. The peace he had received earlier surrounded him. He hadn't felt like this in months. Usually, he'd needed the numbing effects of alcohol to drift off. But tonight, he felt his son with him, as if he was there. It felt good. It felt like he had received his son back, as strange as it sounded. "Love you bud
," he whispered. And in his mind he saw his son as he had been, sitting in the passenger seat of the car, so many years ago. And he remembered his son say, "love you too dad.
" He smiled, drifting off to that memory.

[Aria]

The elevator finally came and it was all Aria could do to get inside, push the button and wait. The world was waking, Connor's lingering touch had been too much. Perhaps it was that she was getting use to the physical contact, but Aria doubted it, there was something else that had to be going on, for her to be able to walk out of Jensen's flat upon her own two feet.

Once in the lobby the door man had changed and he barely gave Aria a glance. She was thankful for that. The cold morning air bit at Aria. It was almost like she froze instantly. Aria's cheeks stung with the winter wind. It was like heaven. The pain of the icy wind swept away the world.

Aria focused on the pain. She removed her trench coat, her swords swinging at her hip as she walked. The cold air was invigorating and refreshing. She knew by the time she'd make it home, she'd be blue and nearly frost bitten, but she didn't care. It was the pain that let her wash away the world and get home to much needed sleep.

[Giovanni]

Giovanni almost smiled as Jensen said they could crash at his place. For once he would actually have a roof over his head. Connor went and took the bed. Giovanni didn't protest. The man had been through a lot tonight and Giovanni would be just as comfortable on the couch.

"Thanks,"
Giovanni told Jensen. "It really means a lot.


Giovanni moved towards the couch and laid down upon it. He soon felt the tension of the day move throughout his body and he shifted a lot until finding himself comfortable. Even so, sleep was hard to come by. Closing his eyes brought back nightmares of the Atharim chasing him, particularly his nephew.

After fidgeting some more to try to banish the thoughts, Giovanni fell into a restless sleep.


Edited by Giovanni Cavelli, Apr 16 2014, 07:54 AM.

[Connor Kent]

Connor's sleep was deep. He dreamt...something. Deep and meaningful, it felt like, but as his mind gradually woke up, all memory of it faded. He opened his eyes to a darkened room. He wasn't sure where he was. The air was cool. He looked toward the dark heavy curtains, bright golden lines outlining them where the sun's light peaked through. He lay there in the bed, warm soft comforter underneath him, soaking in everything. The quiet seemed to blanket everything and part of him wanted to go back to sleep. But this was not his room.

Memory slowly came back to him. He thought of Hayden and felt that ache in his heart. But at the same time, he felt a sense of finality, of peace. He couldn't change the past. There would always be that hole in his heart. There would always be that ache, that wish to see his son, to talk to him. But he felt so grateful that he had spent those final weeks with his son, there to the very end, holding his hand and praying with him. And now, it was like Hayden was with him. A part of his mind now felt like it was always thinking about him, about what he'd think, what he'd say- watching him.

When Hayden had been younger and sometimes Connor made the mistake of not listening to Hayden's explanation of something before getting upset, he'd later apologize, feeling terrible. But Hayden, his dear understanding boy, would say, "It's ok dad." He felt Hayden saying that to him now. "It's ok dad." Hayden was a good kid- a good man. Connor was proud of his son and he wanted to make his son proud of him. And that meant going on and living his life. He could do that. But in the back of his mind he'd always say, "See that bud? See what I did there?" He could live with that. He could go on.

He sat up and took at deep breath, feeling the air in his lungs. It felt like a new day. He put his shoes on, went to the bathroom adjoining the room and splashed some water in his face and toweled it off. Finally he quietly opened the door and looked out. Giovanni was sprawled on the couch, asleep. The open area was not as dark as the bedroom had been, but it kept out most of the light. Jensen set at his table with what looked like a Bible open, lost in thought.

Connor came out and quietly- so as to not wake Giovanni- said, "Hey man. I wanted to tell you thank you. Just...thanks. This night, it meant a lot to me.
" He shook his head at that thought in wonder. What a night it had been. But he had intruded on this man's hospitality enough. And they guy needed sleep, he could see that. Even though it had turned out that Jensen hadn't needed a hospital or anything, the man had been at the forefront of the attack and it had obviously worn him out. "I should probably head home.
"

He thought about the man and what were clearly his own personal demons. Connor had also spent many nights with his Bible open, lost in thought as he sought answers or relief. But he wasn't going to insult the man by pointing it out, or insinuate himself into his problems as if he had the solutions. "Listen, you want to get together some time and talk? I know I could use it, to be able to talk about this stuff with someone who was there...who wouldn't think I was crazy.
" He chuckled to himself. "Let me leave you my number. And the place where I am staying, at least for a little while longer.
"


Edited by Connor Kent, Apr 16 2014, 11:56 AM.

[Jensen James]

Jensen thought about joining them when Giovanni and Connor fell asleep. Instead, he dragged himself to the table and opened the Bible. He had too many questions blurring through his mind to sleep anyway.

Hours later, Jensen jerked from awake, roused by ghosts and basements with black eyes behind the walls. He peeled his face from the page of the book and pinched the back of his neck.

Noise from the bedroom made him shake it off, and he looked over just as Connor opened the door. The man was looking better; Jensen doubted he could say the same about himself. He scratched at the stubble on his neck and stood to greet him.

He also kept his voice low. "I know what you mean. Up until recently, I thought I was crazy or cursed or something."
He shook his head, eyes cast floorward.

He took the information, and offered his own in return. "This is my number. I'd say you know where I live, but I don't actually live here. I just kind of ended up here."
He shrugged the rest away. "Its a long story,"
and extended his arm in handshake.

[Connor Kent]

Jensen responded with his own information, which Connor took. There was nothing else for it but to go. Connor took Jensen's offered hand and shook it.

"I want you to know that I am in your debt. I came here to Moscow to find answers. And deep down
"- he stopped to breathe- "deep down, I sought forgiveness from my son.
" He remembered, even now, that desperate agony. "But you all- you helped me. You just...
" He paused, unsure what to say, but also feeling like it was time to get on with living. "You just helped me get out of a bad place. What I am trying to say is that I owe you. All of you. You, Aria, even Giovanni, as quiet as he's been. So you have my number. Hit me up if you ever need anything. I owe you.
"

After that, there wasn't really too much more to say. After a few more words, Connor walked out the door and it shut behind him. The finality of it all was powerful. It felt like he had left something behind in that room, a weight. He waited for the elevator, curiously elated with determination. I will make you proud, son. Living to honor his son had given him new purpose. As the elevator went down, he thought about the future. There were going to be times when he was depressed, when his guilt or failure came upon him. He knew that. But he also knew that he had the thread now, the rope to cling to in those dark moments. He knew that he had something that would help him through it.

The elevator doors opened up on the ground floor and Connor walked through the foyer and out into the sunlight. The air was crisp and cold but it was also sharp in his lungs and invigorating. He felt the distant warmth of the sun on his face. He thanked God for tonight, for the strange and terrible and beautiful things he had seen tonight. Thank you, father, for the gift of my son, the privilege I had of raising him. Thank you for entrusting him to me. And thank you for letting us say good bye. Please continue to remember him, Father.

Connor decided to walk the rest of the way home, to enjoy his time in the sun.

Continued in The Divine Truth


Edited by Connor Kent, Jun 20 2014, 08:27 AM.